Saturday, September 02, 2006

Q & A 83 Miss Snark didn't choose us; can we settle for you?

Perhaps you know that Miss Snark's Crapometer returned. Those of us not blessed by the random number generating Gods would like a second chance. The other day you indicated a lull at your site. Many of us would love to have your critique and to know whether you'd pass or request pages. Are you game? Or does the thought make you reach for the gin bottle - pail -vat?

So, you heard Doctor Chase had a lull, but rather than get that pain in your stomach looked at immediately, decided to wait and see if Doctor House would see you? But House was taking a rare weekend of clinic duty, so you've come crawling in, hoping you haven't waited too long? Sure, take a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly . . .

Evil Editor accepts that he will always be the defrocked priest to Miss Snark's goddess. However, the thought of 400 queries falling into my lap makes me reach for the gun. No, wait, the blow torch.

As there's nothing preventing any of you from submitting your query or your first 150 words, I'll assume what you're actually asking is whether I'm willing to zip through 100 queries in three days, rather than give each of them the thoughtful and thorough ribbing the minions have come to expect.

Here's my offer. You lottery losers can submit your queries. If it looks like one on which a funny write-up would be hard work, I'll post it with a few comments. But if it looks like it'll inspire an effortless funny critique, into the queue it goes.

Your first 150 words may be submitted, not for EE's quick critique, but for the usual continuation followed by the minions' comments on what you can do with it. Or for a new game that's been suggested: Your 150 words will be grouped with 150 words of some "real" books, and readers will try to guess which one(s) is/are published. After the game, you'll get some comments.

If sending a query, let me know if you prefer the lengthier write-up, which might take a while longer to get to; if sending 150 words, you may choose continuation or guessing game.

This post will be removed Monday at 1 p.m., after which all submissions will be handled the normal way.


Dave said...

I will say to you what I always say to parents with small children - you're braver than I am! ! !

I'm single and only an Uncle!

Cathy said...

Dear Evil E,

I did not submit to Miss Snark, ever.

Faithfully yours,


To those who have turned to Evil Editor as a fall back guy, I say to you, turn away from your snarkling ways and embrace minionism. No one is overlooked by Evil Editor.

The minions are the best.

Evil Editor said...

No one is overlooked by Evil Editor.

When 500 query letters come in in twelve hours, you can bet someone will be overlooked by Evil Editor.

kis said...

I, too, have never submitted to Miss Snark (I'm not a submissive person, in general).

But is there a possibility of submitting to you in combination, the query letter itself AND the first 150 words? You could still do your thing with the query, the minions could still pick apart the sample like condors on carrion, and the hopefully much-maligned author would feel as if he'd gotten the entire treatment in one go.

Or do you think it would be too psychologically damaging for the victims?

Evil Editor said...

Many minions have submitted their query and 150 words simultaneously. I hold the 150 words back until the query's been posted--otherwise the opening might give away the correct answer to Guess the Plot.

Anonymous said...

You're going to take the back seat to Miss Snark. How gentlemanly of you! I hope you know what you're getting into.

Brenda Bradshaw said...

What Cathy said. Preach it, sista!

Plus he has t-shirts.

BuffySquirrel said...

Nothing wrong with second place.

I don't mind the guess-who's-published game I suppose; I have no difficulty critiquing writing that's been published. Nor am I going to get all embarrassed just cos I tore apart something that's sold 300 million copies.

All right, who muttered something about 'ego the size of a blue whale'? You, you at the back there!

(when we got our Freeview box, I thought maybe I'd finally find out what the heck everyone is going on about with this 'Doctor House' shit, but apparently not)

S. W. Vaughn said...

Awww, EE, we luvs ya! You're not in Miss Snark's back seat, you're right up front enjoying the view.

What a guy!

Virginia Miss said...

Thanks, EE!

Please know you're not always second choice. I've already submitted my first 150 to EE's new beginnings. However, I tried for the crapometer too -- not because Miss Snark's feedback is better, but because she was evaluating a complete package; letter plus first pages (a total of 750 words !!).

-- but I didn't get picked. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Hey... Your best friend wouldn't sleep with me, so... Would you, by any chance, be up for it?

Nonny said...


I'd actually intended on submitting my query to you for awhile, but wanted to wait till the Snarkling invasion had passed.

Since Miss Snark's Crapometer coincided with your post about running out of queries, I polished up the one I'd been intending to send and submitted to both.

... there's not a note somewhere about no simultaneous submissions, right? ;)

A. M. said...

Looking forward to the first 150. Words that is...

And the guessing game, course.

The two of you make a good team, no? EE and MS. Teamwork's everything.