Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Evil Editor's Vacation Disaster 5

Evil Editor stood in his stocking feet while his loafers and duffel bag made their ponderous journey under the security X-ray. Whistling the Trini Lopez version of “Lemon Tree,” he stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to avoid eye contact with the pear-shaped woman who had just run the wand over him. She’d noticed not only that his socks were different colors, but that one was a sports sock, and the other wool. Her grin was insufferably smug.

Clutching his economy-class boarding pass, Evil tried to think of Margaritas, white sand and thong bikinis, but his reveries were interrupted when he noticed another guard and his supervisor arguing over the contents of his duffel bag. What the hell? All he had in there were a couple manuscripts--self-flagellation in case he started to actually enjoy his vacation.

A moment later, the supervisor disappeared into a back room, and the guard returned and grabbed Evil by the arm. “If you’ll come with me, sir?”

“I don’t understand,” Evil said as the guard dragged him toward the door. “Is there a problem?”
“It’s best if you just come quietly, sir.”

Evil’s stomach flopped when he was thrust through the door and saw what awaited him. The supervisor stood inside, clutching a horribly recognizable package. An eager gleam lit his eye. Behind him, Evil heard the snap of latex as the guard pulled on a rubber glove.

“No . . . ” Evil protested weakly, knowing it was useless.

“I saw those manuscripts in your bag,” the supervisor began. “I was wondering if you’d look at my novel--it’s a 250,000-word thriller. If you do, I’m sure the cavity search can be avoided.”

Evil Editor shook his head and threw up his arms in obsequious resignation. “Okay," he said. "You leave me no choice. But while you're in there, could you check my prostate?”


--kis

15 comments:

Dave said...

Now that's cruel, really cruel.

Cathy Writes Romance said...

"My pleasure," the supervisor said, bending Evil Editor over the counter.

"Ho there!" Evil Editor lurched forward, banging his head on the cinder block wall.

He realized the supervisor had managed the exam with both hands on Evil Editor's shoulders.

(Cathy, channeling Kate)

Wonderwood said...

Outstanding! Bravo! That was hilarious. Nice work, kis. And an excellent continuation, Cathy. Kudos!

McKoala said...

'self flagellation in case he started to actually enjoy his vacation'! Love it. Love the continuation too. Not much romance there, though, Cathy!

writtenwyrdd said...

Oh, Cathy, that was hilarious. The original was, too.

Everybody loves the violation of their personal space. Although I must say the TSP crew in San Diego are a particularly happy bunch, from my experience. They are they only crew that have ever left me feeling warm an d fuzzy--and that's with my clothes still on!

word verification: tafrtn, or what happens when I eat a bean supper: I get tafrtn.

Virginia Miss said...

Great job, kis!

Kate Thornton said...

OMG you people are sick! Sick, I tell you! And I love it! At the risk of sounding like myself, *great* continuation, Cathy!!!!

~Nancy said...

Kis,

OMG, you are so deliciously sick.

Eee hee hee! :-)

~JerseyGirl

Cathy Writes Romance said...

I did not want to reveal my evil side. I fought it, in fact. But the opening proved too tempting.

Steve Prosapio said...

"You leave me no choice. Could you check my prostate while you're in there?"

CLASSIC!

Nice work!

Anonymous said...

That's incredibly clever. Reading this made it worth coming in to work today. Now must reapply mascara and convince crazy-guy customer I wasn't laughing at him.



~pulpessa

kis said...

Actually, I can't take credit for the prostate line--that was Evil. Pure Evil. And hilarious. :D

That continuation was sick, though. And yet romantic, too, somehow. Brava.

GutterBall said...

So wrong on so many levels! And the continuation? Dear God!

*resists the urge to join in the Continuation From Hell*

S. W. Vaughn said...

Wow. Things got all het up over here!

This is great stuff!

(Sorry, EE, not saying it would be great if it happened to you or anything. :-)

Anonymous said...

Cathy!