Sunday, February 11, 2007
Guess the Plot
One Small Night
1. It was just one small night, out of 365 that year, but June 18th, when a herd of zombie cows came through Butte, seemed like it would last forever.
2. Smedrick the Sorcerer congealed the entire year's nights into marbles to impress the object of his affections, Princess Plubea. She couldn't have cared less, until he lost one: her sixteenth birthday. Now she'll never be old enough to drive, and oh! is she pissed.
3. Sentenced to dig trenches from dusk till dawn, serial killer Joe Ogilvie figures he's gotten off easy--until he learns his sentence will be served at the south pole, where one night lasts six months.
4. Madeline Jones wakes up one night to find that she's only six inches tall. Any other time, it would have been okay, but if she can't return to normal before dawn today, she'll miss the first day of school.
5. Noreen had been looking forward with anticipation to the junior prom. Now she's looking forward with trepidation to the results of her pregnancy test.
6. The tale of Sir Enneth, a diny night from Denmar, and the sneay warloc who idnaped all the letter 's.
Dear Evil Editor:
Waking up in the middle of the night to discover you’ve been shrunk to one-tenth your normal height would be disturbing. [Let's examine that claim:
Advantages of being tiny
Lower food, clothing and housing costs.
Easy to sneak into movie theater.
Elevator never so full you can't squeeze in.
Able to hide in bowl of mixed nuts.
Disadvantages of being tiny
Farsighted hairstylist could cut your head off.
Can't lift bowling ball.
Too short to ride roller coaster.
Learning you may be stuck that way forever would be devastating. But realizing you’re going to miss the first day of school? Catastrophic on an epic scale. [You can't miss school if you've been shrunk. Is anyone gonna buy this: Please excuse Madeline for missing school yesterday; she was only six inches tall, so she couldn't climb the steps of the school bus.]
Madeline Jones, a twelve-year-old girl who loves school, marshmallows, and toe socks, [Evil Editor likes to put a mini-marshmallow in each toe of his toe socks. It cushions the blow when I kick authors out of my office. Plus my toes end up smelling--and tasting--sweet.] wakes up one night to discover she’s only six inches tall. To blame is a kindly, absent-minded sleep gnome named Jerry, who, between tearful outbursts, tells her he doesn’t know how to fix her.
One Small Night is a middle grade novel filled with mythical creatures, magic, and conspiracy. With the help of a cranky elf named Frank, his hyperactive sister Doris, and a beautiful but conflicted fairy named Ingrid, Maddie and Jerry race against the waning night and a group of power-hungry fairies to find a way to return Maddie to her normal size in time to start seventh grade the next morning. In the process, they discover a truth that has been hidden from the magical world since the time of Eden.
With its light, humorous tone and quirky, lovable characters, One Small Night is a delightful, slightly off-the-wall read that will appeal to boys and girls ages eight to twelve. At approximately 42,500 words, this novel is complete.
While at college, I tossed away a promising career as a veterinarian in order to become a creative writing major, much to my parents’ dismay. [Next time, listen to your parents.]
[A Veterinarian's Life
Make animals feel better.
Make pet owners feel better.
Cash huge paycheck every week.
A Writer's Life
Try to think of something to write.
Wait for inevitable rejection.
Cash puny check every six months.]
I now work as an editorial assistant for a division of Random House. [See if anyone there wants to publish Novel Deviations 2, will you?] Though presently unpublished, I plan to base my career—and life—on the craft of words. [Considering what they're paying you, the least Random House should do is publish your book. Think what laughingstocks they'd be if their own employee wrote the next Harry Potter, and it got published by Scholastic. They can't afford to take that risk. Make sure you point that out to them when you submit it.]
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Clearly written and sounds cute. I'd probably leave off the word "delightful." The idea is to convince the reader that the book is delightful without actually declaring it as fact. As for the part about switching from veterinary school to creative writing, are you trying to convince the reader you're insane?
If this book is to appeal to boys in 6th and 7th grade, you might want to elaborate on the conspiracy or make the bad guys power-hungry dwarfs. Fairies aren't gonna cut it as villains for 12-year-old boys now that they've seen orcs.