Guess the Plot
1. Poverty and creativity went hand in hand for Pearl, until her homemade Christmas ornaments became big sellers in Winston-Salem. Success is a puff away, but can she find the right partner for her Cigarette Angel factory or will her plans go up in smoke?
2. Teacher said smoking would kill you, so Cindy hides her daddy's cigarettes everyday. When Daddy finally quits, Cindy realizes more people need to be saved. Now she's known village-wide as the cigarette angel--until big tobacco sends its top exec to correct a sales anomaly.
3. When George quits smoking, he begins to suffer from the biggest, baddest Nic Fit ever. But everyone in George's village believes he is now a portal through which the Prince of Darkness will soon release his fury. Can the Cigarette Angel save George from being burned at the stake?
4. The Angel of Smoke didn't mind being less important than the Angel of Alcohol. Heck, she was only slightly higher on the totem pole than the Angel of Paper Clips. But then they demoted her to just the Angel of Cigarettes. How much longer till she becomes Angel of Death?
5. Reno sponsors a "smoke-out" encouraging all their residents to quit smoking. In one of the events, cigarettes are dumped onto a high school field so students can make "cigarette angels." Everyone is too cool to do that, though--everyone except the new girl Tiffany. And now Jake can't get her off his mind.
6. Hitman Eric "Angel of Death" Murphy has always stayed one step ahead of the cops, but advances in CSI technology have him contemplating alternatives to guns and shivs. His bosses, however, aren't too happy with his plan to kill his victims by lung cancer.
I read in Writer's Digest that [Insert Literary Agency's Name] was actively seeking young adult fiction, and Cigarette Angel is an urban fantasy aimed at young adults.
Everyone has heard of the Angel of Death, but in the Heaven that runs parallel to Earth, there's also the Angel of Paperclips and the Angel of Alcohol. There's one angel to personify every idea or substance on Earth, and just as the Angel of Death acts as a guide for the dead, the Angel of Alcohol allows humans to drink. ["Just as"? You can't compare guiding the dead to allowing drinking. It's like saying Just as a queen termite lays thousands of eggs, a toaster oven will warm a bagel.] The hierarchy in Heaven is based on how important an angel is to the humans. [Ah. So then, this would be the top ten angels:
10. The Angel of Sleep
9. The Angel of Bad Sex
8. The Angel of Blogs
7. The Angel of Cherry Garcia
6. The Angel of Pornography
5. The Angel of American Idol
4. The Angel of Good Sex
3. The Angel of Prozac
2. The Angel of Masturbation
1. The Angel of Chocolate]
The Angel of Birth is the most important; the Angel of Death is blacklisted. Alcohol is almost as important as Birth
Cigarette Angel follows the Angel of Smoke, who never minded her relative unimportance. She was happy with cooking the humans' food and smoking their pipes, until the humans started adding toxins to their tobacco. When they began to die from it, the angels rejected Smoke and renamed her, The Angel of Cigarettes. [So who cooks the humans' food now?] [Why didn't they rename her the Angel of Lung Cancer?] [If there's an angel to personify every substance on Earth, why wasn't there already an Angel of Cigarettes?]
Smoke felt completely alone until she met the Angel of Death and realized he wasn't as bad as the rumors had made him out to be. [That's it? That's the end? What's the plot? An angel gets demoted from pipes to cigarettes is all we get? We need some conflict, some cause and effect, a moral, some sharks, anything!]
Cigarette Angel is my first book, so I have no previous publishing credentials. It's approximately 20,000 words, which I understand is relatively short, [In a large font, it's maybe 100 pages. My God, it's even shorter than Novel Deviations, vol. 1.] but I hope that it's appropriate for its intended audience, and I can lengthen it if necessary. [For instance, I can add scenes with the Angel of Cocaine, Angel of Identity Theft, and Angel of Beating up Homeless Guys.]
The completed manuscript is available upon request. I can be reached by email at ___________, and an SASE is included for your convenience. Thank you very much for your time.
This sounds like it's for little kids. Well, except for the parts about alcohol and death and cigarettes and beating up homeless guys. My point being, if the book isn't trying to convince teenagers not to smoke, what's the point of bringing cigarettes in at all? If the book is supposed to convince teenagers not to smoke, the Angel of Cigarettes won't feel that mature to them. It's like trying to prevent teen pregnancy with a book starring Abstinent Bear and Promiscuous Rabbit.
I don't get the role of angels. The Angel of Alcohol allows humans to drink? What does that mean? Does he encourage drinking? Give out fake IDs? Tend bar? Does he take any responsibility, or is that left to the Angels of Hangovers, Drunk Driving and Puking on the Carpet? Does the Cigarette Angel let people smoke, the way the Angel of Alcohol lets them drink? Does she stop them from smoking? Does she cure lung cancer? Does she lecture people on the evils of smoking? Is the book trying to make a point?]
Are there any human characters? Is the Cigarette Angel Clarence to some human's George Bailey? Does this all take place in the heaven that runs parallel to Earth, or on Earth?
Inhaling concentrated smoke on a regular basis isn't exactly healthy, whether toxins have been added or not.