Sunday, May 27, 2007
Guess the Plot
Of Myths Reborn
1. Lowly dishwasher Kavin daydreams endlessly about mythological characters while scrubbing grime off of pots and pans. But he'll wish it were only a dream, when a creature from the darkest myths comes after him.
2. When a phoenix fed up with the endless cycle of death and rebirth meets a born-again TV evangelist, sparks fly and hilarious karmic hijinks ensue.
3. The 5th graders in Miss Guthrie's class never appreciated her until she needed 2 weeks to recoup from augmentation surgery. Then they tortured the substitutes--until Principal Jones hired a psychic and summoned Ivan the Terrible.
4. If you think springing full-blown out of your father's head is bad, try getting killed by one of your own lightning bolts. Poor Zeus--a god should have enough karma to avoid being reborn as a talking rat. How will Zeus cope with the loss of his god-like powers and his new life in the alleys of Chicago?
5. Nick Jeffries is thrilled at the reception his painting of nude warriors at Thermopolae is getting from the critics. But will it also attract Josh, the young sculptor he admires from afar?
6. Of Myths Reborn, and Love Forlorn, this novel tells the tale;
Of toxic stew, Los Angeles too, and one sick humpback whale.
When love arrives, and men collide, things may become perverse.
Who will prevail, in this sweet tale, that's told in rhyming verse?
Dear Mr. Evil,
I read your blog every day and get a huge kick out of it (and maybe learn a bit too). Your website says you represent fantasy and I thought you might be interested in my fantasy novel, Of Myths Reborn.
Though but a scullion in the kitchens of the sprawling Jade Palace [Google lists 1,190,000 Jade Palaces. Amazingly, all but sixteen are Chinese restaurants.] where the Emperor dwells, Kavin daydreams of more. [He dreams of the day he will supervise the scullions.] While scrubbing the soot and grime off the insides of giant pots and cauldrons, he imagines a hundred different lives from legend, tale, and myth, but most often daydreams of Nadae, the daughter of one of the most powerful nobles in the Empire. It is just a daydream [Are you going to use the word "daydream" in every sentence?] until in a chance encounter they meet, he discovers that she likes him as well, and she has him appointed as her personal manservant. [Manservant? Is that what they called it in days of yore?] [I was going to scoff that this was about as likely as Paris Hilton falling for a dishwasher in a Chinese restaurant. Then I realized the odds of Paris Hilton falling for a dishwasher are actually pretty good.]
His wildest dreams seem to be coming to fruition when, on the night of the greatest feast of the year, the Emperor is assassinated, the Palace becomes a battleground, and Nadae dies in his arms – poisoned. [Those are his wildest dreams? Maybe you should change "when" to "--until" or "but".] As the Empire dissolves into civil war about him, he discovers that he has a Traitor’s Coin, a cursed trinket that many blame for the worst betrayals in the Empire’s history. [Benedict Arnold on the witness stand: I know how it looks, but I'm innocent, I tell you. My mind was being controlled by this trinket.] The horrible realization that he might have poisoned the girl he loves under its power has just begun to sink in when the Fade Raven – a creature from the darkest, whispered myths – comes for him. [Why?]
.........................................Art by George Perez
Kavin’s story is but one from the host of characters in Of Myths Reborn. [Others include the stories of Kanneth the outhouse cleaner, David, the horse-stall scrubber, and Eleanor, laundress to Ivan the Incontinent.] It is my first novel and is complete at 125,000 words. I’d be happy to submit a synopsis, sample chapters, or the full manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time.
What do you mean, Kavin’s story is but one from the host of characters? Is this book the story of Kavin, of the war, or of a period of time in this land?
Kavin daydreams about Nadae, miraculously gets her, and then you kill her off? I'm guessing this happens fairly early, as you still have a war to deal with. Do we need Nadae in the query? Could you begin with the assassination? After emotionally involving your readers in Kavin's romantic quest, are you confident they'll stick with you through this?
What does the Fade Raven want with Kaven? Perhaps that's where your story truly lies.
Can't you come up with a better name than "Fade Raven"?
What makes Kavin think he poisoned Nadae? The coin causes the worst betrayals in history--something like the the assassination of the emperor, perhaps, but not the murder of some noble's daughter.
He discovers that he has a Traitor’s Coin? Where'd he get it? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.