Saturday, July 28, 2007

Writing Exercise Results

The task was to submit author/publisher related terms that aren't in the dictionary, but should be. If I'd posted them all, it would be boring, so I made sure everyone who submitted something got something posted, and then took my favorites from among the rest.

Accretivizing – adding word count to your novel by going through everything you’ve taken out and slowly but surely putting most of it back in--Robin S.

Adulagency--the act of informing an agent that you chose her because you love her clients' books, even though you never heard of the agent or her clients--Evil Editor

Anticipublication: The act of converting chunks of writing time into unproductive afternoons by daydreaming that you’re J.K. Rowling--blogless_troll

Autolieography: A memoir composed mostly of falsehoods.--Bunnygirl

Bioverload--the irresistible compulsion to tell one's life story in a business letter to a complete stranger--Evil Editor

Blogtrophy: A decline in an author's writing skills proportional to the amount of time spent reading blogs--blogless_troll

Boilerplatitude--the reasons given in rejection form letters--Bill Highsmith

Clancyphilia: A socially transmitted virus that weakens a person’s literary senses, leading to neural paralyses and, eventually, the purchase of a 962 page piece of shit.--blogless_troll

Clapkin--the relatives and friends who profess to liking a beginning writer's work--Bill Highsmith

Despondensase--The emotion that follows the realization that you failed to include a SASE with the query you mailed yesterday--Evil Editor

Dicktion: audio detective novel--Bill Highsmith

Discommacy: lack of commas. Symptoms include brain strain confusion and frustration resulting in rejection or literary acclaim--Scoot

Ejacugiggle: Orally, or nasally, spewing a beverage on to computer hardware in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.--blogless_troll

Fraudspew: Falsely claiming to have ejacugiggled in order to gain the acceptance of one's peers--blogless_troll

Grokspan--the maximum number of lines a reader is willing to re-read to follow a writer's nonsense--Bill Highsmith

Hara-Query: The act of writing a query so bad that it kills your chances of getting a request for a partial.--Bunnygirl

Laxnix: a rejection stamped or written on your original query--Anonymous

Merloti - the passages you write while in a drunken stupor on Friday or Saturday nights, and also Tuesday mornings--takoda

Micropubglow: The pride felt upon discovering that one of your continuations made it into Novel Deviations--Evil Editor

Novelette--chick lit fan--Bill Highsmith

Optimisappointment: The disconnect between the initial enthusiasm a writer feels upon submitting a work for critique and the soul shredding contempt the work receives once people read it--blogless_troll

Pistolary: western novel--Bill Highsmith

Plot-hole: something many writers hit on the road to publication; frequently causes the traffic jams otherwise known as writer's block--anonymous

Plotvomit: A query writing technique in which an author spews a multitude of random, irrelevant, and often pointless plot lines into a query, in the hopes an agent or editor will welcome the author’s artistic brilliance in lieu of a story--blogless_troll

Pomposify: To make a work of fiction more literary by adding “: A Novel” to its title--blogless_troll

Procrastisorting: Delaying the start of a new writing project on the basis that an organized workspace will make writing the damn thing easier--blogless_troll

Pseudohook: An engaging, attention-grabbing first sentence having no apparent connection to the remainder of the query or story--blogless_troll

Queriusmysterious: A query writing technique in which an author, in order to build suspense and “hook” the agent, teases, alludes to, or hints at unexplained plot elements without revealing the actual plot itself, usually causing the agent to “hook,” “jab,” and/or “uppercut” the query letter--blogless_troll

Queryblight: The result of obsessive pruning, cutting, or rewriting to the point of incomprehension"--blogless_troll

Roman a chef: Italian cookbook--Bill Highsmith

Seekwill: to try to find the inner strength needed to write a sequel--Bill Highsmith

Skinion - naked minion--takoda

Sleepage--Amount you read in bed before falling asleep--Bill Highsmith

Spagtacular: Whatever else is wrong with the manuscript, the spelling, punctuation, and grammar are just fine. Can also be used ironically to mean the complete opposite--150

Spec fic: books with really really small print that force the reader to wear spectacles--takoda

Splot: a slasher story--Bernita

Timebomb: period between manuscript receipt and rejection--Bill Highsmith

Uniqueryism: The belief that the person to whom you're sending your query has not seen ten identical queries in the past 24 hours--Evil Editor

Weredingo: oft-asked question in Australia's outback--anon.

You-rotica: sexy fiction for zombies--takoda

Zombiholic: Any person demonstrating an uncontrollable urge to add zombies to their fiction, and who insists, often violently, that others should as well.--blogless_troll


takoda said...

LOVED plotvomit and grokspan! These were all funny!

Blogless Trolling: the act of giving your writing mistakes multi-syllabic names and also a cry for help

writtenwyrdd said...

Hara-Query and Grokspan were my favorites. These are all good. I wish I could come up with some to submit myself.

GutterBall said...

You-rotica! Gahahah!

phoenix said...

Every time I see one I think is my favorite, I see another one that becomes my new fave. I can't decide! These are terrific. I bet this list starts showing up on a lot of blogs :o)

Dave said...

Very good, all of them.

150, skinion said...

Who is this Bill Highsmith, and why isn't he submitting equally hilarious queries and continuations? My overall winners: hara-query and weredingo. Going to have to start using a few of them!

Anonymous said...

OK, game over, I know, but late to the party, I wanted to add this one:

Shredit: Helpful attempt to correct deficiencies in a fellow writer's work by re-writing it, completely changing the voice and changing key plot elements.

takoda said...

OOO, Shredit!! Love that one too! Hopefully it will make it in! Also forgot to say I really enjoyed the first one - accretivizing. Funny how that happens! Just like my diets (lose one, gain two) Ha!!

blogless_troll said...

Blogless Trolling: the act of giving your writing mistakes multi-syllabic names and also a cry for help

Takodementia: posting merloti as comments

takoda said...

Oh man, LOL!! That was a good one!

**wipes eyes and reaches for flask**

sylvia said...

Hara-Query is excellent!

writtenwyrdd said...

You-rotica...OMG I just noticed that one. Hilarious!

ME said...

All good, funny. I especially liked takoda's skinion. I was late and I'm glad anon got in shredit. although I was going to add "Shreditorial Comments" -- the blue words of EE.

duck n. cover said...

OK, game over, I know, but late to the party, I wanted to add this one:

Yeah, me too--

Chick lite: women's fiction less magisterial than chick lit.

Loved "Pistolary"...

Robin S. said...

One I missed out on sending because I just spent a weekend sans internet access:

querivelocity: the speed with which a plotless and crappy query sails from an editor's/agent's hands into the trashcan.

Robin S. said...

Forgot to say - these were all great- especially liked pseudohook, despondensase, and hara-query.

And who is Bill Highsmith? Hi Bill.

Anonymous said...

I look forward to seeing these crop up in facelifts and comments henceforth. Could save a lot of wasted words.

Chumplet said...

I think I shall scribe these upon a parchment, frame it and put it up in my little corner.