Friday, October 26, 2007

Guess the Title 4 (Halloween edition)


Below are descriptions of ten books available at Amazon.com. Your job is to guess which title goes with each book. The other five are fakes submitted by the Evil Minions.


1. TV reporter Delilah Street used to cover the small-town bogeyman beat back in Kansas, but now, in high-octane Las Vegas - which is run by a werewolf mob - she finds herself holding back the gates of Hell itself. But at least she has a hot new guy and one big bad wolfhound to help her out...

Casino Lycanos
Delilah trims Vegas
Handsome and Delilah
Dancing with Werewolves
What Spawns in Vegas Stays in Vegas
Larry, I've a Feeling We're Not in Kansas Anymore


2. The Queen of the Undead discovers that even Queens have to pay their bills, and vampire queens are no exception.

Bloodsuckers
Undead and Unemployed
The Taxman is Succumbing
The Repo Man Wears Garlic
"Blood Banks Don't Make Loans"
You’re Dead to Me: Final Notice III – The Gasman Cometh


3. A Chinese doctor encounters one of the earliest zombie cases at a time when the Chinese government is ruthlessly suppressing any information about the outbreak that will soon spread across the globe. The tale then follows the outbreak via testimony of smugglers, intelligence officials, military personnel and many others who struggle to defeat the zombie menace.

Subgum of the Living Dead
Apple Blossoms, Rotting Flesh
The Zombie Disclosure Project
Shao Lin Zombies from the Underworld!
Zen and the Art of Zombie Maintenance
World War Z: an Oral History of the Zombie War


4. A patchwork anthology of 13 new vampire stories in which writers with serious vamp credentials craft stories around the concept of birthdays for bloodsuckers.

Spatters
Many Bloody Returns
Fangs for the Memories
The Gift That Keeps on Taking
Suck it Up: Birthday Feasts for the Undead
Nutrient-Rich Hemoglobin for the Super-centenarian's Soul


5. The Ultimate Guide to Saving Mankind from Vampires, Zombies, Hellhounds, and Other Mythical Beasts.

The Bible
Stake Saucy
Monster Slaying for Dummies
The Monster Hunter's Handbook
The Book of Cain: Being Marked by God Ain't All That Bad
High School Girls’ Sleepovers from Hell: A Bitch’s Guide to Turning Back the Zombie Tide


6. As two witches prepare to host their annual monster bash, they decide to restrict the guest list.

Witches Only
No Zombies Allowed
The Unkindest Cut of All
Drawing the Line at Michael Jackson
Glinda and Gruntilda’s Spook Soiree
I Don't Care What it Says on That Card, We Didn't Invite No Weredingos


7. Zombies have devoured mankind. And the few survivors would be better off dead because a clan of vampires, bloodthirsty and vicious, have captured the remnants of humanity for livestock. In an apartment building barricaded with wrecked cars, concrete rubble, and snarls of barbed wire, the vampires breed lobotomized amputees.

Crypts Versus Bloods
Only the Dead Survive
The True Story of Walter Reed
The Bush Administration: Term 3
Roses of Blood on Barbwire Vines
One Flew Over the Vampire's Roost


8. To teach their obnoxious cousin Mabel a lesson, two boys convince her the statues in Central Park are people who were turned to stone by a zombie's breath, which smells like cheese.

Mabel's Marble Fable
The Listerine Chronicles
The Limburger Zombie Hoax
Gorgonzola Zombies in the Park
Liederkranz and Camembert are Dead
Gouda Night, Mabel; Don't Let the Muensters Get You


9. There is nothing more depressing for a middle-aged lovelorn woman with bald patches on her head than to find herself in an English seaside resort out of season. When our heroine finds her hair falling out, she travels to an old-fashioned hotel and buys hair tonic from a witch in order to repair the damage away from the neighbors in her all-too-cozy Cotswolds village.

Hairless in Brighton
Gone Today, Hair Tomorrow
Grizelda Sperling’s Hair Club For Women
Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadde
No Deposit, No Return: A Hair Raising Tale
Miss Charlesworth and the Love Potion Mix-up


10. Lou Kipinski seems to have it all. But beauty is only skin deep-and sometimes Lou's porcelain complexion can get a bit hairy.

Kibble and Kipinski
I’m Too Sexy For My Pelt
Confessions of a Werewolf Supermodel
I'd Love To, But I Don't Date During a Full Moon
Pardon Me, But You Seem to Have Turned Into a Leopard
I Wish I Could Marry You, But I Can't Afford Your Vet Bills


Correct answers below


Fake titles were provided by Chro, Dave, Paul Penna, McKoala, Robin S., blogless_troll, Khazar-khum, Ylimemmy, Precie and EE.





Actual titles:

Dancing with Werewolves
Undead and Unemployed
World War Z: an Oral History of the Zombie War
Many Bloody Returns
The Monster Hunter's Handbook
Roses of Blood on Barbwire Vines
No Zombies Allowed
Gorgonzola Zombies in the Park
Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadde
Confessions of a Werewolf Supermodel

9 comments:

Precie said...

Thanks for starting my day off with actual LOL!

That put me in the Halloween spirit more effectively than anything else this season.

Precie said...

One more comment...I can't believe you sorted each set of titles according to character length.

{ insert eye-boggling emoticon here }

Robin S. said...

precie-

I can't believe I didn't notice the character length thing until you mentioned it.

I like a lot of these more than the actual titles.

Anonymous said...

I would buy a novel called "Pardon Me But You Seem To Have Turned Into A Leopard."

-mb

Dave F. said...

Very Halloweenie-ish and lots of fun.

Y'all know the legend of the Hallo-weenie? The Hot Dog from Hell? The Bratwurst Bully?
Hint, it's made from Weredingo road kill and comes alive at the full moon.
;)

Phoenix said...

Must say the following had me most amused:

Casino Lycanos
Fangs for the Memories
The Bible
Crypts Versus Bloods
Only the Dead Survive
Liederkranz and Camembert are Dead
Gouda Night, Mabel; Don't Let the Muensters Get You
I’m Too Sexy For My Pelt

Awesome job, all!!
(Ooh, and there's a full moon rising now... Bhwaa-ha-ha...)
(And EE has w-a-a-y-y too much time on his hands...)

Church Lady said...

Not only is EE organizing stuff and not telling us, but there are other cryptic messages embedded in his blog.

Just look at the clipart for 5 minutes, then see what I mean.

Church Lady said...

And I almost spewed my merlot all over the keyboard. Robin, you still have the eggplant avatar?! bahhhhaahabbbahhhaahhh!!!

Robin S. said...

Oh, hell, CL, I can't believe I forgot to change that avatar- I'll do it now.

I'm now going to check out the clipart.