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"Jesus started it!" said Darth.
Arnold held the handkerchief to his bloody nose. Principal Berne just leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingertips together.
"I am the alpha and the omega," said Jesus in that holier-than-thou tone of voice. Showoff. Mr. By-the-way-I-speak-Greek-and-Hebrew.
Principal Berne smiled. He seemed to think these two were just boys being boys.
This "alternative" middle school was the worst one Arnold had seen yet. You had your hippie kids, like Jesus with his long hair and Birkenstocks, and you had your serious behavioral problems (Darth), and you had your all of the above (What was with that vampire clique, anyway?). Back at the military academy, Arnold himself had been the biggest troublemaker. He was starting to look back on those days fondly.
"He made Arnold run into my fist," Darth said, his funky black hat pulled down over his face as usual.
Arnold's jaw was so swollen he couldn't even argue.
"I told Arnold to turn the other cheek," said Jesus. Oh yes. A real prince, that Jesus boy.
"And he ran into my other fist. I ....auggggh...." Darth made that gasping noise of his which always made Jesus crack up. The asthma was just an act, but Principal Berne fell for it, turning sympathetic eyes on Darth.
Arnold made up his mind to get to work. He needed to get expelled from this school, and fast.