“I’m telling you, help me with this and I guarantee we’ll put it back at the top of the list, and bigger than ever this time.”
Evil Editor stared into the bottom of his glass and rattled the ice cubes. “No one will buy it,” he said. “No one will believe it.”
Jesus reached for Evil’s glass, popped in two more cubes and filled it to the rim with Wild Turkey. “It doesn’t matter. The idea’s good enough. It’ll be the best selling book in history. Again,” he said. “Fuck the Da Vinci Code, we’ll blow it out of the water. And Harry Potter? Forget about it. It’ll be a footnote when we roll this out.”
“What’s your concept? You can’t just rewrite the Bible.”
“First of all, we dump the Old Testament. It’s all backstory. It was fine back in the day, but the attention span was longer then,” Jesus said. “We start with the New Testament, but the whole thing’s written in John’s POV, close third person.”
“I’ve been doing an informal market study with my bar customers. John’s the crowd favorite.”
Evil nodded and sipped his whisky. The idea was just crazy enough that it might work.
“And this time it’s not the Jews that get me,” Jesus said. “I’ve got a better idea.”