Sunday, January 27, 2008

Fake Query 11

After their school is named "America's Most Uncool High School," Tiffany, Amber, and Josh take matters into their own hands--and one by one the dorks begin to disappear. (The Dork Squad)



Dear Evil Editor

I read your blog religiously and know that you represent Middle Grade fiction.

Tiffany, Amber and Josh, friends since forever, learn that MTV is giving special awards to high schools based on coolness. Confident that Middlebrook Academy will win its division, they persuede the pricipal to submit their entry.

Imagine their horror when they learn they've won an award, all right. They've just been crowned "America's Most Uncool High School".

They've got to fix that, pronto, if they ever want to go to the right college. How to do it? Eliminate the geeks and dorks that are dragging down the score!

"The Dork Squad" is a 65,000 word dark comedy for Middle Grade readers. May I send you the first chapters?

Thank you for your consideration.

Khazar-khum

9 comments:

Sarah said...

ABC book on how to eliminate kids at your school. Great query, but have lots of money stashed aside for the inevitable lawsuits.

Phoenix said...

Speaking as a former dork and current geek, I have to tell you, K-k, just how horrified I am that you seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to continue this crass stereotyping about dorks and geeks being uncool. Please use goths and emos instead. Thank you.

Robin S. said...

Ha! I was right there with you phoenix, tortoise-shell rimmed glasses, read-athons and all, until I hit sixteen and stuff just started happening.

Poor Dorks! I'd say you did a good job with the query, kk, since you made me start worrying about them.

Wanna write it?

pjd said...

Hey, I bet I was the only one here that actually was in the math club in high school (only for one year, though... I couldn't take the pressure of the competitions!).

I think the query actually leaves a little to be desired--a little skimpy on what actually happens. "Eliminate" could be any of (a) kill them off, (b) get them transferred out, or (c) turn them into cool kids. Maybe the three friends disagree on how to do it, and they each advocate one of the three options. In any case, the query needs a little more in specifics.

Khazar-khum said...

The phrase "dark comedy" should be the clue.

Why did they get named uncool? Because of the geeks? Or because of Tiffany, Amber & Josh? Or was it something else?

I was a drama, FBLA, honors & gifted student geek, so I had absolutely no chance whatsoever of being cool. My own and only chance to break out of the mold was shot to hell when the principal refused to let my Dad's friend come to campus to talk about politics & law. His name?

Irv Kanarek.

Phoenix said...

The math club wasn't quite geeky enough. I was in the chess club and the slide rule club. Bet most of you don't even know what a slide rule is.

Poor K-k, come commisserate with the rest of us brilliant, uncool kids.

talpianna said...

I was in Latin Club and National Honor Society.
---tal the uber-geek

And can't ANYONE on this blog spell?

Church Lady said...

As a member of the cool club in High School, I got to hang out with jocks and get the geeks to do my homework....
(Ha! So in my dreams!)

This could be fun.

Sarah said...

It's not the spelling dear. It's the typing. HP&C method, ya know. And sometimes the fingers believe in dissonance rather than smooth sailing.