EE, how do you do this daily? Don't you have to earn money at a job?I've wasted more time--well, not really wasted since I do learn--reading the GTPs and First Pages, etc. and all EE's minions' comments.
Well, first of all, I don't write the minions' comments and I seldom write GTPs or openings or continuations. In some cases I choose the ones to use or feature, but that's not so time-consuming. And since much of my work is done in front of a computer, moderating comments is no problem. So my main time-consuming activities are:
1. Condensing query letters into plot descriptions that sound ridiculous so readers will Guess the Plot incorrectly some of the time. Difficult when I have no idea where the title came from, but easy when the plot actually is ridiculous.
2. Checking my minions' blog profiles to see if they've loyally included EE's books among their favorites.
3. Trying to hide the points I want to make in the query critiques and Q & A's in enough humor to satisfy those who come just for the laughs. Especially difficult when the plot is three sentences or when the author doesn't provide the expected glut of plot holes.
4. Writing sincere-sounding letters of apology to authors who threaten to sue or kill me.
5. Tearing down authors' first 150 words so much that they figure their entire books must suck, which they could be wrong about, though probably not.
6. Reading my fan mail.
True, none of this brings in money, but just knowing I've brought a smile to the face of one minion is reward enough. Besides, once I have enough people hooked I plan to start charging for blog visits. It'll be like a porn site, but with better spelling.
10 comments:
Never knew smiles were so creamy. Glad you give me my daily "smiles".
Oh such fun...charging for visits. I do so like that.
Let me see.
It thrills me like a narcoleptic in a mattress factory...
Chuckles emitted from my throat like a margarita from a lidless blender.
So - the more we praise you, the less time you'll have to spare us?
I'm torn.
"It'll be like a porn site, but with better spelling."
Just, for the sake of the children, omit the farm animals.
Orion, your simile thrills me like a porn site with good spelling.
EE, have you checked my profile lately?
Your taste suddenly seems so sophisticated. Amazing
LOL!!!! Between EE and Orion, this was one of the funniest posts yet!
But you know, dearest Evil, you forgot to mention all the money you rake in from Novel Deviations. It is a series, you know.
Are you a deadbeat, EE?
What a funny thing to wake up to this morning.
Like a porn site, huh? I'm sitting here laughing. Makes my slogging through air travel today seem a little more survivable.
Oh, I just assumed that EE was independently wealthy from decades of brilliant editing. Who else could get away with a pince-nez and watch fob but the eccentrically rich?
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