Some people claim that "said" should be used as a dialogue tag almost exclusively. Yet these same people will complain if you use other words twice in a chapter. Doesn't "said" in every sentence get tiresome?
Yes, it does, if there's a lot of dialogue with a lot of tags. If a book is 20% dialogue, "said" won't feel repetitive. If the book is 80% dialogue, I get sick of reading "said" all the time. The advantage of using "said" a lot is that a lot of writers get a little too creative when trying to vary their dialogue tags.
For example, check out these four lines of dialogue. The first set uses "said" every line, the second set has some variety, but with innocuous replacements for "said," and the third group uses tags that may be descriptive, but also stick out enough that you wouldn't want to use them often.
"Sorry I'm late," Jason said.
"That's okay," Stephanie said. "I just got here."
"Let's go to a motel after we eat," he said.
"I can't," she said. "Too much work to do."
"Sorry I'm late," Jason said.
"That's okay," Stephanie told him. "I just got here."
"Let's go to a motel after we eat," he suggested.
"I can't," she replied. "Too much work to do."
"Sorry I'm late," Jason sobbed.
"That's okay," Stephanie chortled. "I just got here."
"Let's go to a motel after we eat," he bellowed.
"I can't," she puked. "Too much work to do."
When I edit dialogue-heavy fiction I vary the tags. I still use "said" almost half the time, and I've worked out highly scientific ideal use-percentages for every possible tag. You laymen don't need to go into as much depth as that, so I've prepared a chart that should help you determine which tags you can use often and which you should use sparingly.
1. Dialogue tags that are neutral and won't bother readers if they are used frequently:
said
told (as in told him, told her/me/them/us/Lucy/etc.)
asked (Used exclusively with questions)
replied (Not necessarily to a question; could be to a comment)
answered (Almost exclusively to a quesion)
2. Dialogue tags that have similar meanings to the those above, and may be used a few times per book:
stated
inquired
responded
remarked
3. Dialogue tags that have specific meanings, and can be used whenever applicable without becoming bothersome as long as their applicability doesn't come up more than once in a chapter:
suggested
demanded
declared
pointed out
added
continued
laughed
yelled (and some of its synonyms)
cried (and some of its synonyms)
whispered
repeated
confirmed
announced
confessed
sighed
exclaimed
groaned
muttered
mumbled
snapped
4. Dialogue tags you can get away with once per book, but only if you haven't used any of the other ones on this list:
spat
affirmed
bellowed
countered
retorted
chuckled
moaned
shrieked
5. Dialogue tags you should avoid:
spewed
brayed
yawped
sneezed
barfed (please have character barf then speak or vice versa)
smiled (pet peeve; you don't smile words)
opined
ejaculated (once a fine choice, now giggle-inducing)
giggled
belched
caterwauled (always irritating when an author makes you get out the dictionary on a mere tag)
mooed (unless a cow)
blubbered
excreted
The lists are by no means complete. No need to send in your favorites for lists 1 through 4, as a thesaurus will do. Amusing additions to list 5 will be accepted as comments, but no more than two per customer.
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"I cannot begin to express my deep appreciation for the informative list regarding dialogue tags in today's Q&A post," she stated.
"No need to thank me," he replied, bemused.
"Oh! but I must!" she exclaimed.
"Please, don't be tedious. My blog exists to elucidate and amuse. Your failure to mention the anecdotical nature of the information was, however, somewhat disappointing," he added.
"Ever so sorry, Evil One. It was hilarious!" she responded.
Those examples seem to also imply that every line has to direct the reader to who is speaking per line. A lot of the time, nothing is needed at all, especially if it's between just two characters (gets more iffy the more characters are speaking). Your reader isn't stupid and doesn't have to have his hand held through dialogue. For every 3-4 lines, usually nothing is needed then perhaps one tossed in there to keep the reader on track.
"Said" becomes almost invisible, which is why it's the most popular to use. The reader tends to mentally skim over that word. I'd go nuts adding something after EVERY SINGLE line of speech since my 'scripts are filled with dialogue.
Is "quipped" a 3, 4 or 5? "Gurgled" I'm pretty sure would be a 5, especially if the gurgling were caused by blood pooling in the throat.
A separate Q for a future A: Have you ever come across anything on this blog that moved you to acquire its author's work (Novel Deviations excluded)?
Ah, Brenda beat me to it. In many cases, you can omit tags. In the main example you provided, lines 3 and 4 don't even need tags, as long as the speakers are already identified.
EE is aware that not every line of dialogue needs a tag. It was easier to repeat four lines of dialogue than to repeat ten, of which four had tags. Perhaps another time we'll discuss when to use them; this is a post about which ones to use most often.
People used to quip and gurgle all the time. Not so much these days. I'd give 'em both 5's.
EE is aware that not every line of dialogue needs a tag.
Ooh, ooh. Perhaps a future post about when to refer to oneself in the first person and when to use third?
Oh, please, please put "quip" in #4.
"Ranted" and "vented" I suppose would be #4's? (Or should I have refered to myself in 3rd person there?)
Sorry, no quipping, but you may joke. No ranting as a tag, but it's okay to claim someone ranted if you don't provide specifics. No venting unless your character is a volcano or plumbing equipment. 5's all around. And EE assures you it would have been 5's even without the crack about third person.
I'm with EE on "quip" since the line of dialogue itself should be a quip, it's redundant to point that out with the verb. Worse, if the quip falls flat, you've merely highlighted that failure by tagging an unfunny line.
My stuff is dialogue-heavy, and I use mostly "said" along with actions for the speaker. ("I hope Darla notices me." Alfalfa tried patting down his cowlick. "She's so dreamy.") This avoids the repetition problem too.
Nod is a definite #5 for the same reason as smile. "Yes," he nodded.
What about "cooed"? "I love you," she cooed. Not that I've ever used this one, but I was curious where you'd put it.
Cooed is a 4. It could have been a 3, but let's face it, if you tell someone you love him, and you say it, he might say it back. If you coo it, he's out the door (unless he's your dog). On the other hand, it's better than "I love you," she claimed.
Hee! EE is talking in 3rd person. It's almost Gorean in nature.
I'd rather see a character's emotion through his actions before and after his speaking.
I suppose "shat" and "expectorated",
as in- "Take that!" he shat.
"Pechoo!" she expectorated back.
...might just be on the list of use sparingly?
You missed out 'boomed.'
It's purple, I know - but am I permitted one per 1,000,000 words if I forgo every urge to ejaculate or regurgitate?
The only dialog I ever heard that merited the word "BOOMED" was Jack Nicholson's line in "A Few Good Men" when he booms at the attorney - "You Can't Handle the Truth" ... The line carries the entire play.
Not even when he tells the court that he ordered the Code Red does he boom.
Okay, here's one for you, EE. I write fantasy and science fiction. I've recently been debating how to say the equivalent of he/she/it said with thoughts. Besides italics to indicate the speech is non-verbal, what's a gal to do for speech tags? Does "he thought" become the new "he said"? Enquiring mind wants to know...
"Said-bookism, by Heaven! You are the second coming of William Atheling, Jr," she mentioned eruditely.
He thought is best when tagging. I noted when I read Dune that he thought, italics and possibly even italics plus he thought were used without my becoming annoyed.
For additional once-in-a-while tags to thoughts (when they seem applicable): he wondered, he supposed, he imagined.
"People have to look up caterwauled? she asked in astonishment.
First time I bookmarked an evil page.
Cool.
I like it when you have these discussions.
I'm a 'said' or no-dialogue-tag person, whenever possible, for two reasons -
I think the dialogue itself and the actions preceding or surroundng the dialogue should be able to speak for themselves to tell me what state of mind the speaker is in.
And - it feels dumbed down when I'm told what to think about the state of mind of the speakers, other than in the narative and the speech of the characters.
There are exceptions, in my opinion as a reader - J. K. Rowling is an amazing weaver of stories. She's a heavy emotive tag user, but somehow, maybe given the subject matter and the style of her writing, it worked really well for her.
EE,if you leave Third Person World when referring to yourself, it would be strange.
I think I recall seeing regurgitated used once or twice. I presume it to be a 5?
I'm wondering after robin's comment if emotive tags are more acceptable in children's and YA books, because I think I've seen a lot more in those age levels than adult level books.
Regurgitated is a 5 unless it's an over-the-top comedy, in which case several of the 5's are okay if they get a laugh.
5's good for a laugh in a middle-grade comedy for boys:
barfed
regurgitated
spewed
brayed
belched
5's good for a laugh in a YA boys book:
ejaculated
splooged
5's you may use in a children's picture book:
mooed
So much lies in the minds of the readers, eh? Robin, while you found Rowling's use of non-said tags perfectly acceptable, there are many, many blog posts devoted to disparaging her (way) over-use of them.
Of course, since the blogs I frequent are generally writer-oriented sites, perhaps these posts are knee-jerk reactions from the same critters who insist on excising every adverb that dares wave its ugly little "ly" at a reader.
*shrug*
Hey WW and phoenix-
I think WW is probably right in her thoughts on emotive tags being acceptable in writing for younger readers. That makes sense to me.
Do you think so, EE?
Makes sense if it's something kids are unlikely to pick up on otherwise. But a lot of kids are bright, so just because they are unlikely to complain about emotive tags doesn't mean we should pour them on.
Competition for the right to regurgitate, caterwaul and explode is particularly fierce amongst androids, so I'm told.
Competition for the right to regurgitate, caterwaul and explode is particularly fierce amongst androids, so I'm told.
Competition for the right to regurgitate, caterwaul and explode is particularly fierce amongst androids, so I'm told.
I loved this one, used by Don Carpenter to introduce a Hollywood agent:
"Hello," he lied.
And then there's Ring Lardner, Jr.'s immortal '"Shut up," he explained.'
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