"I get it." Jack leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, aggravation plain on his face. "You think I'm bitter because of loss? That I haven't given up the ghost? That I haven't learned to live with pain? You've got some romance novel fantasy thing going through your head? Is that it?"
Sarah felt a frown pull at her lips. Then why would he still wear… She felt her eyes shifting to his ring before she could stop them.
He followed her gaze and placed his left hand on the table, splaying his fingers. His voice was quieter, raw and edged. "I remember everything about her, even five years later. I don't need a ring for that."
Sarah was frozen in place, chained by his emotion.
"She deserved better," he said, and his voice was oddly flat. "I knew it then, and I couldn't help myself." His tone twisted, becoming almost cruel. "She probably should have been cheating on me. She might be alive if she had."
Abruptly, he shoved his chair back. "I should have left it at your apology. I thought—well, that was more for your sake, anyway, wasn't it?"
She jerked as if he'd hit her.
He rose from his chair, leaning down with tight hands against the table. "I wear it as a warning to myself." He paused, and the streetlight found flecks of silver in his eyes. "It has nothing to do with her. Nothing."
"A warning," she whispered.
"Yeah, a warning." He flung the chair in against the table, a loud scrape of metal against stone. "Don't [Not to] fucking do it again."
--Brigid
Nice scene and dialogue. Some of it cryptic without context, but that's not a bad thing.
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6 comments:
Oh, I feel bad for Sarah, and I feel bad for the guy's dead wife, and for the situation, so your dialogue worked.
there's some nice power in that scene. Tweak it so there's nothing left but rawness.
Although this is one where some context might have helped, I did think the dialogue worked.
Sorry for leaving out context. It just seemed like too much to explain. Basically, when Sarah met this guy, he was being a tool and making some heavy innuendo. She flung it right back at him, and made some mean remarks about his wife probably being at home cheating on him. Later, she learns that his wife was killed, and she regrets her comments, and she goes back to apologize. This is right after her apology.
Thank you all for the comments!
I wish I understood what was going on because it's great dialogue that I'm sure would be 10 times better in context.
There's a nice bit of tension here. Well done!!
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