Dear Mr. Evil Editor,
I am writing about our unfortunate encounter last night.
Image my surprise, while dinning with an acquaintance, at my favorite restaurant, you and a companion should be seated at a table next to mine. I must admit, I shifted my seat to better ease-drop on your conversation, ignoring my own friend’s chatter.
There you were, reading to your friend while sharing an appetizer. Apparently some poor author had sent a poorly executed query and included some rather bad sample pages. After each sentence, the two of you made sarcastic comments and laughed.
And then it dawned on me, it was my query, my pride and joy, my opus that I spent years sweating over, writing and rewriting, this literary masterpiece that you were ridiculing. Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed the closest thing to me and found myself pouring a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon over your head.
I do sincerely apologize. If I had thought, I would of realized a Beaujolais or Pinot Noir pairs better with swine.