Sunday, July 13, 2008

Horror Story 12

Skree skree skree... It was the alarm clock. The incessant skree skree skreeing was like the cries of the Vienna Boys' Choir being devoured by sharks. And when my head cleared I found myself suspended in the air, a spiked leather halter digging through my flesh. Groggily I mumbled, "Wha--?"

"Ah, you're awake," the woman said, entering the room and turning off the skreeing. She had a voice like a thousand fingernails scraping chalkboards in an echo chamber.

"Where...?"

"Calm down. You've been in an accident. As you'll no doubt realize soon enough, I had to amputate your arms and legs to get you out of the car."

I managed to focus through the pain long enough to see she was telling the truth. And to make matters worse, my nose itched.

"I should be in a hospital," I said.

"I'll get you to one," she answered, "after the spring thaw." Her mottled skin looked like rotting cantaloupe rind. She turned and yelled back through the doorway, "Children! Get your blindfolds on. The Pinata's ready."



Skree skree skree... It was the alarm clock. Whew. All a dream. But...I was suspended in the air, armless, legless...

"Ah, you're awake," the woman said, entering the room. "Thought you might like some music." She attached wind chimes to my four stumps, turned on a giant window fan, and left the room.



Skree skree skree... It was the alarm clock. Whew. All a dream. But...I was suspended in the air, armless, legless...

"Ah, you're awake," the woman said, entering the room with three or four reams of paper. "I thought you might enjoy listening to me read my novel."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!"

--Evil Editor

10 comments:

Dave F. said...

Aberrant nightmares from the creepiest movie ever made. Julian Sands would be happy. You have a strange, slapstick vision of horror.
;)

Anonymous said...

Hope this doesn't flash through my head tomorrow AM when my alarm goes off! I most enjoyed the repeated "Ah, you're awake" and the pinata. Good one!!

ME

fairyhedgehog said...

It takes a lot to break you EE but we know how to do it.

freddie said...

I laughed aloud at the nose itching and the pinata.

Robin S. said...

EE, this sounds realy enough to realy have been one of your (cinematically-enhance) nightmares.

And it just had to be a woman, didn't it?

Yeah, yeah, I know. Goes with the script.

WouldBe said...

Groundhog Day, with amputations and skreeing.

--Bill H.

ril said...

Yeah, Misery meets Groundhog Day meets Hellraiser meets QVC's Wind Chime and Alarm Clock special.

Very, very funny.

wendy said...

Stephen King with a side of pinata, very tasty indeed EE. I especially liked the wind chimes.

Kiersten said...

Very funny, EE. And creepy. Great combo.

AR said...

Very good. It's the pointlessness of the suffering that makes real horror.

That's why I think the whole genre is obscene. Just thought I'd throw that in there.