Sunday, August 31, 2008

Bad Analogies, Batch 4

After she kissed him, she smiled and gazed deeply into his eyes like she was looking for his hippocampus. --blogless

Life is short, nasty and often bloody, like a hard-core wrestling midget. --D Jason Cooper

The hero of the story turned from a tasty hunky hero into a mere slip of the tongue, a hackneyed turn of phrase, a horny goof pointing what once was his steely rod throbbing with power and now was visualized as spasmodic vulgarity and faltering vigor. For indeed, even as anti-hero he lacked forward drift, purposeful concomitant and actionable thought as much as mud flung into the sky only just knows where it is to land and not what will be the bull's eye smackdown. --Dave F.

He stomped down the street, like a ballerina with a broken leg. --Shell I

Understanding women is like opening a can of French onion soup; c'est la vie. --Bill H.

Suzie was blind as a bat, but compensated for it by smelling like a dog. --Whirl

He felt queasy but somehow triumphant, like a zombie that had just eaten his own brain and found that it disagreed with him. --tal

Like a chain-reaction accident on the freeway spread across multiple lanes in its path of destruction, so hideously garish was her make-up, from the frosted pink lips to the rainbow-hued eyes, that I could not look away. --Meri

Her legs quivered like the mucousy blobs of jellyfish that sometimes washed up on the beach, only not quite that disgusting. Except she had spider veins, and they didn't. So maybe quite that disgusting. --Kiersten

Belcher's name brought forth a chuckle no matter how often he was introduced, like a joke about Uranus. --EE

4 comments:

Dave F. said...

He stomped down the street, like a ballerina with a broken leg

Dmitri Shostakovitch once wrote a Polka for bureaucrats which features piccolos and bassoons.

In "The Stoned Guest" PDQ Bach has a waltz for a man with a peg leg which is shorter than his real leg. It has a distinctive lilt. He was satirizing Baron Ochs from Der Rosenkavalier.

Robin S. said...

Whirl- loved this one. How did I miss this the first time through??

freddie said...

These are great!

GutterBall said...

Life is short, nasty and often bloody, like a hard-core wrestling midget.

HA! This...is damn near poetry.