The world is doomed.
Alien: We come from a dying planet bilions of parsecs away, having ridden the solar winds--
EE: Whoa, whoa. That's backstory. Get right to it.
Aliean: We're taking over your planet unless you give us some reason to spare you.
EE: No, no, no. You're telling, not showing.
Alien: But how else--
EE (yawns): Besides, it's been done. You're just little green men.
Alien (bristling): I suppose our skin tone may be reflect a frequency of light consistent with your color "green," yes.
EE: That's it? Plain old aliens. You couldn't be vampires?
Alien: Uh, no.
EE: Middle school zombies? Werewolf swordsmen? Blood sucking telepathic moles? At least tell me you practice some kind of magic.
Alien: We have laser guns. And a spaceship.
EE: Pfft. Good luck getting out of the slush pile.
On the bright side, there were no more James Frey novels after the great KaBoom.
--Benwah
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6 comments:
Poor aliens suffered from being unoriginal . . . until they blew us up.
I really hope no aliens contact EE. On the other hand, maybe they will be able to take a good, honest critique well.
What did Kermit say - It's not easy being green?
This is fun to read.
This was fun!
EE killed by his own petard. Good one.
Bill H.
We've been bigging up aliens for so long now, the genuine article is bound to be a disappointment.
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