Sunday, August 17, 2008

We're Doomed 7

"So, Human," purred the feminine voice, "I have to make a decision. You will help me."

He glanced down from his morning paper. The only living creature in range was a large, fluffy, impeccably-groomed Poodle. "Impossible," he grumbled, adjusting his glasses.

"Do not refuse me, Human." The Poodle laid a paw on his lap. "Long ago, we came to earth to enslave your race. We have succeeded, even better than we had planned. But now we must choose. Should we exterminate humans and move on, or continue our domination?"

"You're kidding," he said. "You're just a dog!"

"No, human. WE are the masters. You are naught but our slaves. And since you do not respect me, you have made my choice clear."

"Hold on a minute," he said, laying aside the paper. "Come over here."

Warily, she went to his side. He reached down and began scratching her behind one ear. "We're not so bad, are we?"

"No, Human, but--lower, please. Ahhh! Thank you." She shook her head. "Very well. I am convinced. Humans will live--for now."

He watched as she trotted off, tail high. Damned good thing I just edited that memoir about the psychic dog, he thought, and resumed reading.

--Khazar-khum

10 comments:

freddie said...

Hah. I knew there was something funny about poodles.

Julie Weathers said...

I was really expecting a Snark appearance.

This was cute. Who knew proper petting and scratching techniques were so important?

Dave F. said...

So poodles run the world. I thought it was mice or chihuahuas...
Cute and lots of fun.

fairyhedgehog said...

I would have voted for cats as world rulers myself. I like the twist you put on this.

Robin S. said...

I'm with FH- go cats, go - but even so, you gotta say, poodle love is often a trumper. (I'm thinking about that gin-soaked broad.)

Good one!

WouldBe said...

This was funny. Let's see, humans work days to bring home bacon for the mutts, go walkies with them, do the super scooper bit. Yeah, they're in charge.

--Bill H.

Khazar-khum said...

She watched over me the whole time I worked on this. When I finished, she reclaimed the pillows on the bed. It obviously met her approval, which means we're still safe.

talpianna said...

Very good, though I had a slight problem with the purring poodle. I think you weren't trying hard enough to suppress your subconscious awareness that it's really CATS who run the world.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark's dog should have appeared! Killer Yap, right?

Whirlochre said...

What a great moment to play the poodle card.

I once knew someone with a three-legged poodle. She was mortified when it died. 'There'll never be another one like Trio...'