Sunday, August 17, 2008

We're Doomed 9

The mothership landed in the crop circle surrounding Evil Editor’s house. He knew they’d come.

“This is it! This is it!” he said. “No one believed me, but I knew it!” He ran outside to meet them.

“Welcome!” he yelled as they exited the ship. The short buggers looked him up and down.

“Wxnbthulvn,” one alien said. He throwing flowers at us.

“Pnvcsx wtrfgaz,” the other replied. I think he’s welcoming us.

“Qszxckl io? Tghrdwqqa?” the first one said. That’s it? Why isn’t anyone else here?

“Trcfwxnbthulvn.” According to his leader, this is the only man who can convince us to leave Earth alone.

“Btn. Qwvtyplkmij vne wvknglen.” Okaaaay.

“Tqwcn cn xwsdffgr,” Apparently his powers of argument are very persuasive. I’m told he has many followers.

“Greetings,” said Evil Editor. “I welcome you to Earth.

“Thank you.”

“I see you speak English.”

“Yes. Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you and your brethren. We have the technology to destroy mankind.”

“Well, so do we.”

The first alien nodded. “That’s true. Nuclear technology.”

“That doesn’t mean we have to use it. Plus, there’s a lot of good in the world, still.”

“Yes, we’ve heard of your blog. We do enjoy it. What else?”

“Well, we make some of the best movies.”

The first alien nodded slowly. “I did enjoy the Dark Knight. Immensely.”

Evil nodded. “If you kill us now, there will never be another Batman film.”

“YNHGH! GHT WEHRERE!” OH NO!

“Oh yes,” Evil Editor replied. “No more Batman.”

“And your blog?”

“Gone. I’d bet some of my minions would be back to haunt your asses.”

“Minions?”

“Yeah. Didn’t anyone tell you who I am?”

“You’re not Batman?”

“No. I’m Evil. Evil Editor.”

The little aliens ran screaming back to their ship and were never heard from again.

--freddie

9 comments:

Julie Weathers said...

*laughs*

Love it.

Dave F. said...

Good stuff. I love their dialog.

fairyhedgehog said...

I love the way they mistake him for Batman - it's an understandable mistake to make.

Robin S. said...

Damn straight with the haunting!

Good one, freddie. Loved it.

WouldBe said...

Good one. Do in EE, and no more Novel Deviations, either.

Khazar-khum said...

I had no idea there was a stately Evil Manor, but the more I think about it...hmmm.

talpianna said...

You mean Evil Editor ISN'T Batman?????

Whirlochre said...

Great dialogue. And now we know EE isn't Batman (unless it was a cunning fib), the scene is now set for some sort of duel.

freddie said...

I'm all for EE being Batman. It would explain a lot, I think.

I think he just wasn't in the mood to deal with short buggery aliens that day.

Thanks for the comments!