Sunday, September 14, 2008

Pedicure 10

“What brings you to Mobile?”

“I’m here for a writer’s conference.” EE untied his shoes.

Deb’s eyes brightened. “You write?”

“I edit. Look I have a headach…”

“You edit?! Wow, HEY PEARLINE, this guy’s a editor.” She pointed. “Pearline’s wrote a book. She’s been lookin’ for a editor.” With a sinking feeling, EE tried not to look.

“Oh hell no she didn’t,” Pearline said under her breath. She picked something up off the counter and started in their direction.

“Pearl,” Jen looked up from the drawer.

OH MY GOD how do I get myself into these situations EE raged inwardly. Now in stocking feet.

He removed his socks as she shoved the manuscript under his nose.

“Sweet baby Jesus toes, them are the prettiest feet I seen in a coon’s age!” Pearline exclaimed. Up close the rest of him looked pretty good too.

A Dog by Any Other Name: The Truth About the Southern Male. EE was intrigued by the title and opened to page one.

“I mean I been lookin’ at feet a long time. Perfect cuticles. Mr., I ain’t seen feet like yours since I done Audry Hepburn’s.”

EE read: While it is a fact well known to women the world over that most men will at least attempt a pretense at civility upon first meeting, this is not so of the southern male. He would rather dry-hump your leg. “Your first sentence is a bit long, but your thesis is clear. EE’s my name.”

“Pearline,” she said

“May I take this back to my room for a further look." EE felt a stirring. "You may have something here.”

“Only if you’ll let me get a picture of those feet.”

“Pearline, if I promised not to dry-hump your leg, would you join me for dinner at the Marriott?”

“Mr., I’d love that.”

"Pick you up at six."



writtenwyrdd said...

I love this one! That line about dry humping is so funny.

Dave F. said...

How did I miss this yesterday?
It's fun. I like it. A bit of romance.

Whirlochre said...

The mention of Audrey hepburn fixes EE's predicament spendidly.

WouldBe said...

Nice, especially with a hurricane coming. I hope everything turned out OK.

Luke S. said...

Thanks. Fortunately, I and my family were safely ensconsed in New Orleans. We returned to a little mess, but no damage. Thanks again.

talpianna said...

I loved it!