Sunday, September 28, 2008

Talking Dog 5

Evil Editor peered at the security monitor; at the door stood two policemen and a bedraggled border collie.

“Grisham!” EE bellowed as he recognized his dog. Moments later he opened the door. “Thank you for finding my dog, officer.” He reached for Grisham’s leash.

“Whoa, not so fast sir.” The policeman moved in front of EE. “This dog claims to be the famous author John Grisham.”

“What?” EE stared at his dog, “You’re kidding.”

“Sir, may we come inside?” The policemen stepped inside.

“Looks like I don’t have a choice.” EE motioned to the living room.

The officer spoke to the dog. “Please, tell us again what you just told us.”

The dog padded to chair, jumped on it and spoke. “My name is John Grisham. Two months ago, after attending a book signing, I found myself transformed into a dog and trapped in this house, the home of my nemesis.”

“What bull.” EE stood. “Grisham, go to your crate.”

“See officer, he didn’t even bother to change my name.”

“Sir, please place your hands behind your back.” An officer pulled out his cuffs.

“This is crap. Grisham quit lying.” He turn back to the officers “I’ve had him since a puppy. He’s a border collie and a bit deranged.”

“Poor deluded fool, He’s envious of my success as an international bestselling author. You see, we were college roommates and he always ridiculed my writing.”

Just then an officer’s cell rang, after a brief chat he told his partner to put away his cuffs.

“It’s confirmed: the real Grisham is having dinner with his agent. Sorry sir.”

After they left, EE found Grisham cheerfully ripping up a manuscript. “All right, you win. You can help shred the slush pile, slobber and all.”

--CEB

4 comments:

WouldBe said...

Well, at least we now know that the slush pile isn't automatically delivered directly to the landfill. I'm more encouraged now.

Bill H.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Shredding for the recycler one hopes. Recycled dog slobber? Hmmm.

Good one.

Dave F. said...

Many years ago, I bought a silky terrier puppie. Cute little thing - bright, cheery, fluffy litte ball of fur.
So I put him on leash in the kitchen when I went to work and I put some news paper on the floor. I came home to a white blur of paper bits. It seems he got hold of a paperback and ripped it to shreds and scratched all the news paper into tiny bits.

I've seen Tickertape parades in NYC with less paper that that doggie managed that cay.

His tail was going 1000 mph and he was so thrilled to see me - Like "look what I did! Isn't this great?"

Nice work on the exercise.

Whirlochre said...

This is fun.