Oh, my, HECK, you have not even heard scary till you’ve heard the story I’m about to tell you, right? So this one time, I was at the mall, right? And it’s like getting late. And so I’m all walking to my car when this guy comes out of nowhere, it’s totally dark, right, those parking lot lights are all flickering creepy and everything. At first I’m all thinking it’s a mall cop, you know? Anyway, he starts talking and I realize that dude’s no mall cop—he’s hitting on me. Which, I know, happens like all the time. Not scary. But this guy? He had MUTTON CHOPS. Seriously. And his hair was COMPLETELY gray. Then it got really creepy, and he started like telling me his name was Evil. So I started screaming and ran for my car, you know, but when I get there I drop my keys. AND THE GUY WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME—so I kept screaming. And then I like totally maced him, AND HIS FACE MELTED OFF. I am not even kidding. It melted off. As if that wasn’t like total trauma enough, ever since that night I’ve been getting weird phone calls from some chick with a Southern accent, saying, “I know what you did, and I’m gonna get you for it.” Creepy, huh? So, like, you said your name was Robin? Great party. Hey, you probably get this like all the time, but your voice sounds really familiar.