Sunday, October 26, 2008

Scary Story 8




My turn? Well, those of you who are newish around here may not know this, but Sparky invited a few of us up to this cabin of his last year, too.

"I say, I feel certain I would have been made aware of such a…ah, meeting, Robin."

Ril, it was girls night, honey. I mean, let's face it, Sparky ain't sharing with you of all people, not if he can help it. You know how we all feel about those, ah, punchlines of yours. Seriously. Nice hair, by the way. Plus, we thought we were gonna get to meet him, and he didn't even show.

Anyway, listen. There was this old black and white movie I watched one time, called The Spiral Staircase, and in one of the beginning shots in the movie, it's night time, a dark and stormy night kind of night time outside the window, and through the camera you look out the window of this old boarding house, and the thin curtain's blowing in the wind, and then you see a crippled woman in this room… walking to her closet to pull a dress out or something, and she leaves the closet door ajar just a few inches, and as she makes her way back beside her bed to take her clothes off…

"Was she hot?"

No, she was not hot, Wonderwood, she was just a woman. Just regular. Just plain old. That's not the point. Anyway, about the time she walked away from the closet…

"You know, Robin, I think I remember that film…"

Yeah, Pete? It was a good one. Scared me to death when I was a kid. It was on one those late night rerun things back in the late 60s – that's when I saw it.



"I think it was set in New England. I'm almost sure. Turn of the 20th century, although it came out in 1945."

You're probably right, paca.

So anyway, the camera does a close up of the closet door, and all you see, with this big crescendo of a scary movie music piece playing in the background, is the closeup of an eye, one eye, that's all, as he stares out of the closet at the crippled woman, a woman who can't easily get away from him when he…

"When he has his way with her?"

No, Whirl…

"Because when you tell any kind of story, there's a sexual punchline. It's what we've come to expect."

Dammit, Dave, not this time. I'm trying to tell you all, and OK, I'm taking one damn long time to do it – when I was back inside, in the cabin a few minutes ago, I swear to God I saw an eye looking out at me from the hall closet. It was blue. And it was pretty, but still, it was an eye looking out of a closet door, people. The closet door was barely open, and it was just like that Spiral Staircase movie and when I thought about that, I got chills down my…

"Pants?"

Dammit, Whirl. No. Not my pants, my spine, and…

"Oh yeah, Robin. Chills. Heh. From when the eye guy pulled you into the closet, right? Was it EE? I mean, Sparky, was it? Tell me – it was him, right? So, uhm heh, how were those shorts? I named 'em, so I'd like to know. And what's he look like? I mean, not inside the shorts. Just in general, ya know."

Hell, BT, I don't know. I'm serious, honey – I ran like a freaked cat, ran right out the door. I figured it was like all those movies where the bitch gets it first. And let's face it, I'm not exactly Little Mary Minion Sunshine, now am I?

I mean, maybe we were called out here for a bad purpose this year. Maybe it's like a movie come to life, like that Blair Witch dealie. Maybe we're IN a horror movie, you all. It could happen. And it looks like he called only the old guard out. Maybe he's tired of us all. Maybe he wants….Oh, Lord, you all, maybe he wants new blood only on his blog from now on…or maybe he wants to get rid of all the old guard guys, and me. Maybe I'm hoggin' him, and he's tired of it.

"Horror movie my ass, Rob."

Good Lord, are you, are you HIM? Are you…are you you? And what are you doing with those clothes hangers hangin all over you? Those wire ones can be really dangerous – they can scratch your skin if you're not careful, Sparky. Here, let me pull those off your back. Jacket on or not, they've got to be hurtin…and also you shouldn't be out in this cold wind wearin' only your boxers. I do like boxers best, by the way. I think they're so cute…

Why do you have that weird look on your face? Does your face always look weird like that, I mean, you know, handsomely weird, or are you really pissed? You know. Off…

Oh.

--Robin

16 comments:

freddie said...

This was terrific! I think you nailed the personalities of the minions in this piece, Robin.

ChrisEldin said...

This is very, very good!!

I think that drawl of yours can go creepy as well as sexy. Versatile, Robin.
hehehehe!

fairyhedgehog said...

It was sheer pleasure listening to you read this, Robin.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Very nice, Robin. And poor Sparky there with hangers all over him. Loved the reading!

blogless troll said...

Ha! That was great! And I agree with Freddie. You nailed the personalities. Except mine. I'm actually more Beavis than Butthead.

WouldBe said...

Loved the writing voice.

Anonymous said...

This was great fun! I snickered and guffawed repeatedly at the minions' interruptions and your quick thinking replies! LOL!

Meri

Dave F. said...

ooops... just that one too many question!
I like this subtle and quirky.

Phoenix said...

Wish I could hear it ;o( Not so sure this is horror, though. Seems more like Rob's recurring day dream -- you know, being stalked by EE. Ahh, good times!

ril said...

Wonderful as always, though you should be aware that I don't, ah, talk like that, actually.

And, of course, as it's Robin writing about EE, it's, ah, longer than everybody else's. As it were.

talpianna said...

Robin, you should be a professional storyteller as well as a writer.

Robin S. said...

That would be fun, Tal. If only they were hiring!

Evil Editor said...

I recorded The Spiral Staircase this morning on Turner Classic Movies. It's on again November 8 at 8 PM.

pjd said...

I definitely do not remember that film, though I can't possibly see how it would be better than this version.

Robin S. said...

Thanks, Pete, you sweetie.

And thanks, EE - I'm seriously marking my calendar. The last time I saw that movie I was a kid in the late 60s, as per my little story. Cool.

Robin S. said...

I'm watching the movie tonight.
Thanks for the heads up on the date and time.