Dear Evil Editor,
This letter is regarding the debacle which took place at the Hall of Reviews last Thursday, a.k.a. Thanksgiving Day, during our local writers pot luck luncheon, for which you had agreed to be key note speaker.
I was thrilled when you said you were sending mariated mignon. We don't have filet mignon often and looked forward to the special recipe. But imagine our horror when, instead of a culinary delight, ten of your minions show up - intoxicated - and critiqued everyone's work! What a menagerie you have: birds, tiny bears, rodents and camel creatures. And what were those weredingie thingies? Worst of all, you failed to show up!
This DF person kept comparing authors work with unknowns like Grisham and Chekhov (wasn't he from Star Trek?). Someone called "WW" spent the day speculating changing story settings to other worlds. Robbie, or whoever she was, dared sit next to our group president talking in double entendres. Well, perhaps that wasn't so bad. He seemed to enjoy it. Paca somebody and this naked squirrel worked in tandem. Paca would spit out a series of corrections, and the squirrel would tell them to quit whining when they complained. Then there was the bear, the mole and this BBJD person, who ate all of the cold boiled shrimp!
I know what you'll say: their criticisms were on the mark. Well, okay. They were. But half the group ran from the hall promising to never return! I owe you for this, EE. I owe you big.
Do you take VISA? Or would a payment plan be best?
Oh, I'm having a Christmas luncheon in a couple of weeks for members who weren't able to attend Thanksgiving. Any chance the minions could stop by?
Impoverished Writers' Group