Sunday, November 16, 2008

Uncooperative Agent 4

Excuse me, Evil Editor?

How did you get in here? Mrs. V., call security.

Mrs. V. isn't out there.

Oh right, I sent her out for my cheese danishes. What do you want?

What I want is for you to publish my novel, but my agent refuses to send it to you.

Remind me to send her a thank you card. Who is she?

Kristin Nelson. Do you know her?

Know her? I used to date her. If you could call it that. Not much of a night out when your date has her damned ipod blasting the whole time. It's a little distracting when you're trying to eat your soup and your date keeps jumping out of her chair and gyrating like a pole dancer to some sappy pop tune. Not that that had anything to do with our break-up. In fact I kind of liked going to a restaurant and not having to talk. Made me feel less guilty about watching the football game on the TV behind the bar.

So why did you break up?

I wanted her to peddle my autobiography, More Than Muttonchops. She wouldn't take me on. I mean, one mention of the book on my blog guarantees 50,000 copies sold, and that's just the first day. So WTF?

Maybe she was intimidated by the prospect of working with a genius.

You know, I like your style, kid. You've got spunk. What's your book about? Tell me it's got zombies and sharks.

Why, yes, it does. Now.

--Evil Editor

8 comments:

Dave F. said...

I like this. It's a light, morning giggle-fest. I give it three eyerolls on a scale of two ;)

WouldBe said...

Love the title, More than Muttonchops.

Anonymous said...

Good one! And so nice to have Mrs. V mentioned!

Meri

Julie Weathers said...

Ah, EE, you never fail to amuse me. Good job.

Julie

fairyhedgehog said...

So when is "More than Muttonchops" coming out then?

ril said...

Kristin Nelson gyrating like a pole dancer. Ooh. OK.

Sharks and Zombies. Yay!!!

Funny as always!

sylvia said...

Some very disturbing imagery there! But More than Muttonchops has a certain ring to it: sign me up for a copy.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I know I'd be buying my fair share of More Than Muttonchops. Of course, I'm assuming it includes the weredingos.

Loved this!