Sunday, November 16, 2008

Uncooperative Agent 4

Excuse me, Evil Editor?

How did you get in here? Mrs. V., call security.

Mrs. V. isn't out there.

Oh right, I sent her out for my cheese danishes. What do you want?

What I want is for you to publish my novel, but my agent refuses to send it to you.

Remind me to send her a thank you card. Who is she?

Kristin Nelson. Do you know her?

Know her? I used to date her. If you could call it that. Not much of a night out when your date has her damned ipod blasting the whole time. It's a little distracting when you're trying to eat your soup and your date keeps jumping out of her chair and gyrating like a pole dancer to some sappy pop tune. Not that that had anything to do with our break-up. In fact I kind of liked going to a restaurant and not having to talk. Made me feel less guilty about watching the football game on the TV behind the bar.

So why did you break up?

I wanted her to peddle my autobiography, More Than Muttonchops. She wouldn't take me on. I mean, one mention of the book on my blog guarantees 50,000 copies sold, and that's just the first day. So WTF?

Maybe she was intimidated by the prospect of working with a genius.

You know, I like your style, kid. You've got spunk. What's your book about? Tell me it's got zombies and sharks.

Why, yes, it does. Now.

--Evil Editor


Dave F. said...

I like this. It's a light, morning giggle-fest. I give it three eyerolls on a scale of two ;)

WouldBe said...

Love the title, More than Muttonchops.

Anonymous said...

Good one! And so nice to have Mrs. V mentioned!


Julie Weathers said...

Ah, EE, you never fail to amuse me. Good job.


fairyhedgehog said...

So when is "More than Muttonchops" coming out then?

ril said...

Kristin Nelson gyrating like a pole dancer. Ooh. OK.

Sharks and Zombies. Yay!!!

Funny as always!

sylvia said...

Some very disturbing imagery there! But More than Muttonchops has a certain ring to it: sign me up for a copy.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I know I'd be buying my fair share of More Than Muttonchops. Of course, I'm assuming it includes the weredingos.

Loved this!