I’m sorry -- I’ve tried everyone. The market for this kind of thing has just dried up. This time last year, it--
Well, no, I didn’t try him, but there’s really not--
No, I know exactly what he goes for and--
No, really, he wouldn’t. I mean, he and I, well, you know, there’s some history, and--
Alright, I’ll call him already, just give me a second. Look: I’m dialing. Five, five, five… It’s ringing.
Yes, this is Angsty Agent called for Ev--
Yes, I’m aware of that, darlin’, now put me through, would ya?
She’s putting me through…
Hey, Evil, this is--
Really? Still sore, huh? Did you try rubbing it?
Yeah, I suppose that is kinda what started it… But listen, I--
No, no, this is business. My author here has--
No, not my only author, smartass. I have other authors, but not--
Okay, if you like: my author du jour. He’s got a--
Hey, lay off of the wisecracks. You’re the only one thinks you’re funny, you know…
They don’t count. If they had any class, they’d be reading-- Just a second…
Shush, I’m getting to it. I know how to handle this guy…
What?
Listen, dickwit, that was different; we’d both had a few, and--
I did not bend it the wrong way. Besides, you’re the one who suggested the butter curler.
Whatever. Listen, my client--
Yeah my client the author, what other kind of client--
Asshole!
Shush, I’m telling him.
My client the author has this exquisite literary-- Don’t hang up! No, it’s, uh, it’s about a pair of lesbian werewolves-- Just a second.
Just write a couple in. You want to sell this, right? Wait, I think he’s biting…
Sure, it’s got pictures--
Shush.
Yeah? Yeah. I thought you’d like it. I can have it to you this evening… Sure... Hey, asswipe, one more thing: Don’t forget to pick up some Chianti on the way home. Remember, we’re having the Grishams for dinner…
--ril
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9 comments:
Lesbian werewolves with pictures! And having the Grishams for dinner? Priceless. Now is that as guests or as the main course?
It's so you, ril!
"Lesbian werewolves"Now that's a plot twist I didn't see coming. I like the way this builds and keeps raising the wildness index.
OMG, EE's a relative of B. Clinton.
This was really funny too, and I was still laughing over Sylvia's. At first I thought it might be Robin's, (the sex stuff!) but no, the voice was different. Well, done, ril. I don't even take offense at:
They don’t count. If they had any class, they’d be reading-- Just a second…
Meri
Ril, this was great. I love the back and forth of this and the ending was awesome.
I did not bend it the wrong way. Besides, you’re the one who suggested the butter curler.
Whom do I write to about having Ril canonized?
Whom do I write to about having Ril canonized?
Here ya go...
I giggled all the way through.
Awesome! I totally didn't see the end coming although it was obvious in every line. I love this.
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