I’m sorry -- I’ve tried everyone. The market for this kind of thing has just dried up. This time last year, it--
Well, no, I didn’t try him, but there’s really not--
No, I know exactly what he goes for and--
No, really, he wouldn’t. I mean, he and I, well, you know, there’s some history, and--
Alright, I’ll call him already, just give me a second. Look: I’m dialing. Five, five, five… It’s ringing.
Yes, this is Angsty Agent called for Ev--
Yes, I’m aware of that, darlin’, now put me through, would ya?
She’s putting me through…
Hey, Evil, this is--
Really? Still sore, huh? Did you try rubbing it?
Yeah, I suppose that is kinda what started it… But listen, I--
No, no, this is business. My author here has--
No, not my only author, smartass. I have other authors, but not--
Okay, if you like: my author du jour. He’s got a--
Hey, lay off of the wisecracks. You’re the only one thinks you’re funny, you know…
They don’t count. If they had any class, they’d be reading-- Just a second…
Shush, I’m getting to it. I know how to handle this guy…
Listen, dickwit, that was different; we’d both had a few, and--
I did not bend it the wrong way. Besides, you’re the one who suggested the butter curler.
Whatever. Listen, my client--
Yeah my client the author, what other kind of client--
Shush, I’m telling him.
My client the author has this exquisite literary-- Don’t hang up! No, it’s, uh, it’s about a pair of lesbian werewolves-- Just a second.
Just write a couple in. You want to sell this, right? Wait, I think he’s biting…
Sure, it’s got pictures--
Yeah? Yeah. I thought you’d like it. I can have it to you this evening… Sure... Hey, asswipe, one more thing: Don’t forget to pick up some Chianti on the way home. Remember, we’re having the Grishams for dinner…