Fable 5

Evil and the Duck

Once long ago in the town of Wordalot, in a villa by a duck pond, lived a family named Editor. The ducks from the pond seemed ordinary and were eaten with gusto. Duck a la Orange, duck a la blue, and duck of no particular color graced the Editor table at every meal.

One evening Kinevil Proofright Editor the 3rd was ruminating by the pond when a duck swam up and said to him, “Oh strangely whiskered but wise child, I have been sent by the ducks of the world to tell you that we are magic creatures that should not be eaten. A red pencil waved over us will cause each bird to speak the Kings English and charm people with tales so riveting, that no one will resist snapping us up for a mere $29.95 per duck. Let us come to live with you.”

Evil’s convinced his parents to breed the ducks -- hopefully to produce both the loquacious hardback and dulcet toned canvas-back varieties. Once inside the ducks ate everything in sight, even, unbeknownst to the family, busy cleaning up duck accidents, -- every- single- red pencil. Soon the house was full to bursting with duck breath -- and the other unfortunate and slimy consequences of waterfowl metabolism. Nowhere in all the squirming feathers and odorous offal could be found a single duck that spoke.

Evil’s disgusted parents tossed him into the yard. As he rolled towards the pond a lone duck lifted to the sky, and sailing overhead said something he remembered for the rest his life.

“Oh ho ho ho, Editors is the cwaziest people. Ha,ha,ha,ha, HA!”


Moral:
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck.

--Anon.