I hate Christmas shopping.
Where the hell do all these idiots come from? And why are they never at my book signings?
Oh hey--a spot. I'll just go and--dammit! Motorcycles should have to park on the sidewalk or something. Stealing a good space like that. I oughta knock the damned thing over.
Hey, there's a spot--nope, not the way Mr. My Car Is New So I'll Just Take Two Spots parked. Take this, you SOB. If I didn't have fifty cars behind me full of witnesses, I'd fix that paint job right up.
Wait, wait, wait--is that car leaving? Yes? Yes??? No! Bastard just straightened it out. Shit.
Better go back down the lane. Never know when one of these jerks will--What? An empty spot? Oh, Yes! YES!! And no one else has seen it! I'd better get right there.
What the--what the hell is that white Poodle doing in MY spot? Get your damned dog into the truck, people! I want my spot! Dammit! Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too. Whatever. Just let me park.
Well, at least I've got a spot. I'll just head over to Sears and get going and--
What? WHAT? On my shoes! Damned Poodle!