Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day Blind Date 7

I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else -- anything else -- other than what was happening now.

"Relax, honey, it's almost over."

Oh god. Just almost? What more was she thinking about doing? How could I have let things go this far?

Oh, the wining and dining had been nice. And the flattery! I'm a sucker for flattery. A few skilled words and I fall hard. And Evilette was certainly a pro in the art of pitching woo.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to, you know, swing that way or not. But there she was and there I was, and then she was asking in that sultry, seductive way that I couldn't refuse. I could have said no, maybe should have said no, but what came out instead was yes.

And now here we were and it was painful, more painful than I thought it could be. I just wanted it to be over.

And suddenly it was.

"There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" She sounded like a doctor who's just ripped a 10-pound kid out of a 2-inch orifice.

"What now?" I whispered.

"Now we let my brother have a go."

I sobbed quietly.

Then I heard a deep masculine voice say, "I'll take it from here." And as Evil Editor slipped in, Evilette slipped out.

He was -- as I'd known he'd be, dreamed he'd be, hoped he'd be -- gentle. And I knew it was with him that I was meant to be.

When it was over, I asked, "Did I really have to, you know, go with Evilette first?"

Evil put down his red pen and smiled a soft and knowing smile. "Of course, dear. I like my work pre-edited. That's why I don't accept unagented manuscripts."

--Phoenix

10 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

I hadn't realised that getting a manuscript accepted would be so very painful!

Dave F. said...

This is a big, heart shaped devil's food cake with chocolate ice cream, sprinkles on it and a rose-colored heart in the middle. Fun stuff.

Wes said...

Hmmmm............interesting view of publishing world.

BTW, are you busy next weekend?

Sarah Laurenson said...

Wonderful description of the publishing process from a writer's perspective. LOL

sylvia said...

I laughed aloud when I realised how quickly I'd fallen for your trap. Lovely.

Hebe said...

Ouch. This had such a true ring to it.

Robin S. said...

Holy crap!!! I had such a picture in my mind, girl. Such a picture - (Have you SEEN that picture of Evilette? Good Lord.)

This was a freaking wonderful pone job!!

McKoala said...

This one worried me...I kept thinking...surely she's not...she can't mean...and thankfully you didn't! Very funny and I was glad of the twist.

talpianna said...

Brilliant!

chelsea said...

Can something be cute and disturbing at the same time? Yow!