Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day Blind Date 9

I saw her looking around the restaurant, and figured she must be my date. We'd spoken on the phone, and when I told her I was Evil Editor she almost swooned. I waved to her and she came over to the table. "Hi," I said. "You must be Anon."

"Yes," she replied, "but who are you? I was expecting Evil Editor."

"That's me. In the flesh."

"But . . . you look more like a combination of George Clooney and Brad Pitt, except taller and darker and more handsome. Where's the pince-nez? Where's the beer gut? Where are my muttonchops?!!!

"Ah, you're thinking of the cartoon char--"

"No, no, this won't do. Can you put on some false muttonchops?"

"I don't have--"

"It's all wrong. Sorry, this was a mistake." She headed for the door and never looked back.

--Evil Editor

13 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

a combination of George Clooney and Brad Pitt

Yeah, right!

Very funny though.

Dave F. said...

Hmmm, this gets a pint of Rockey Road Ice Cream for the day. The hazards of creating an online persona that grows like a chocolate fountain at the buffet table. Very funny. Love lost in a sea of M&M hearts.

Kiersten said...

It's true, EE. You've set the bar far too high for reality to compare, George Clooney and Brad Pitt notwithstanding.

Wes said...

Like they write on the internet dating (?) sites, "Please be real."

Sarah Laurenson said...

Beauty in the eye indeed. How could you be out without your muttonchops?

Very nice.

sylvia said...

Shocking! I don't blame her for walking out - false advertising!

Good thing it's only fiction.

Hebe said...

Nice one!
You know what they say about the size of a guys mutton chops. I would have left in a huff too.

Anonymous said...

And then she went home, cried her little eyes out then played "Mystery Date" with her BFF online!

Robin S. said...

Hey. I'd have been just fine with a not-cartoon face, and I'd have brought spare (lambswool)muttonshops, Sparky.

I think this is your dream of how you'd get rid of us in real life, should the occasion ever arise, huh?

McKoala said...

Clooney? Pitt? I think you'd have shown us your face by now if this were true...

talpianna said...

I always thought he looked like a combination of Rosemary Clooney and a pit bull...

Robin S. said...

Good point, McK. (Not that it would matter, what he looks like.)

Wes said...

Good one, Tal!!!