Ah, I do love writing in my personal, hidden blog. Some day, when I’m ready, I will publish another book using excerpts from this blog. I know the Minions will buy it. They’ll buy anything. Especially my excuses for rejecting their queries and manuscripts.
Ha! Some day I just might tell them I’ve never read a word. Nah. It’s too much fun knowing they’ll keep sending more in with higher and higher hopes. None of them will ever make it past my rubber stamps.
Which reminds me, I saw my first Robin today. She came in person to my bogus office hoping to present her latest effort to me personally. If she only knew that isn’t me in that office. It’s my slimy brother-in-law, Millard, the one with the artificial implant. Talk about using protection. Ha! Millard’s lack of “feeling” makes him the perfect stand-in for me. Who could act angrier and with less regard for others? Just me.
All of the little animals are out this spring. Saw the squirrel, the odd little bear, the mole thing, a hedgehog, a psychotic orange cat, a fluffy cat, some kind of hyena-wolf cross, and a host of other strange little creatures.
Why do I get all the crackpots?
I’d quit this job if it weren’t so much fun. Where else am I going to find a job where I can sit with my weredingos and watch the hopes and aspirations of would-be writers dash upon the unfeeling plastic of Millard’s artificial implant? Authors will do anything to get representation. Ah! It’s better than cable.
The weredingos are looking hungry. Perhaps I need another auction wherein the “winner” gets to meet with me to go over their manuscript. Which Minion can I afford to lose? I know. I’ll let the weredingos decide.
Bevie
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7 comments:
Particularly evil. Love it!
That's so creepy and even creepier because I knew a guy who had both style of implants and he sounded just like this - brassy, obnoxious and egotistic. A new low in "Larry the Lounge Lizard" perspectives.
good stuff.
Loved the bit about all the little animals!
Meri
Still here. I'm not weredingo feed. Yet.
I laughed at the I saw my first Robin today and I loved all the little animals, too! You've really caught the it's fun to be evil vibe.
That was a mole thong you saw!
'odd little bear' - that better not be me, my friend!
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