"Do you think putz-boy had the smarts to create soap from liposuction fat? He wrote Joe's lily-livered, weak-bladdered imitation of gutless invertebrates. That's what. I am Joe's creativity, screaming to get out of pee-stained trousers and fear-soaked shirts."
"We aren't rehashing Eve Black an' White, are we?"
"And well we aren't. I'm not Eve's vagina. Neither am I dat pile-of-rugged-individual Galt. Holy Fucking Jesus Christ did that fucking eunuch artiste get it all wrong along with his prune-like creator Rand who bamboozled generations of pudgy, mamma's boys whose grandiose aspirations matched their fat asses and who's deeds are as spunky as Jello an' whipped cream. Wannabees in male drag. I am your man-meat talking. Hear me?" He paused as EE raised his pen to object but stopped and didn't speak.
"You goin-t say something, limpdick? Come on, I've heard the excuses before. All that PC, weak knee-ed horseshit. You get your jollies by writing rejections while I have women lining up to have my abortion. Call it shit like the shit it is. Don't call it what THEY want to hear. Spineless prick. Put some bloody frenzy on your whipped cream next time you jack the beanstalk or flip the bean, depending..."
"My minions adore and desire me." EE interrupted, flexing.
"You're tweeting like that twittified dork-wad who invented twitter, tweety-pie. You gotta create vicarious destruction, basement brawls, a soupcon of planned chaos and most definitely sport fucking for that big honker you rest those pince-nez on," he slapped his knee, yukking hard.
"Thrashing male ennui in 100,000 words?"
"Overthrow. Outmaneuver. Overwhelm. A Man's Guide To Being A Man, An Autobiography!" Tyler Durden's blue eyes twinkled, bewitching, a homoerotic come-hither, straight-arrow gaze of profligate lust that said beat-me, beat-me hard, I can take it, I'm a man.
--Dave F.
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5 comments:
Dave,
Does this have anything to do with have been in EE's shorts?
Wow, this was a wild ride!!! I had to read it again just to make sure I was getting all the refs. You overthrew, outmaneuvered and overwhelmed me!!! But I enjoyed it anyway.
Meri
No. Tyler Durden (Fight Club) would give anyone a hard time.
This was started and finished Friday afternoon (Friday evening became the Battlestar Galactica party) for two reasons. One, I kept drawing a blank from the moment EE announced it. No character jumped into my head. I had to force the writing and that's hard work.
Two, I left my house at 12 noon Saturday and didn't get back home until Sunday night. I can't crank out 300 words in less than an hour while eating breakfast, getting washed and dressed, and packing the car for an overnight stay.
"You get your jollies by writing rejections while I have women lining up to have my abortion."
Hehehehe. Funny how they fought to keep that out of the movie and then ended up regretting it.
Loved this.
I don't remember Fight Club except for Pitts' performance.
That sounded like Dennis Leary to me!
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