Sunday, April 19, 2009

Super EE 1

"EPA, EE. You're under arrest."

"For what?"

"We have photographs of you using your laser vision to break chunks of ice the size of Switzerland off of Greenland, Norway, the whole Arctic region. In fact, it's become clear that you, and you alone, are responsible for global warming."

"Hey, I needed ice for my office Slushee machine."

"You can get ice from a freezer, idiot."

"That's made from tap water, idiot. Only ice from the exact center of an ice floe the size of India has the flavor I covet in my Slushees. I'll show you. Cherry or grape?"

"I don't want--"

"I recommend cherry. Here you go, try it. On the house."

"I could use a cold drink . . . Mmmm, that is good. And you say the secret's in the ice?"

"No chlorination, no bacteria, it's 100 percent pure."

"We could make a killing off this. We'll call it Slush-EE. Have you tried ice from Antarctica?"

"Not yet. Hey, but what about global warming?"

"Bring it on. The warmer it gets, the more people are gonna want our Slush-EEs."

--Evil Editor


Sooki Scott said...

How about Sea Ice with a splash of Tequila for an EE margarita? No salt needed. Yum, yum.

Confucius says, "Learning without thought is labor lost, thought without learning is perilous."

Anonymous said...

Life without slushEEs is pitiful. Evil, such an on-the-spot portrayal of gov't official-dumb!
I'd say more but I'm out the door, on my way to 7-11!!