Sunday, May 17, 2009

Evil Vs. Good 2

"Here's a scintillating opening line." Evil-EE read aloud; "We come from the farm, reeking and stinking of shanty Irish, a family of drinking fools unable to express any emotion except anger. Sounds like multisyllabic, metaphysical lit-fic. All beefy smell and no beefy substance."

"More playwright Eugene than Styronic smell of roses from the south," Good-EE tossed the manuscript like a hot potato. The shredder howled, tornado-like. They read another manuscript. "OH MY Holy Roller! How about opening with this; the most adventuresome food I ever ate was a mutton burger garnished with head cheese and served on a hot-crossed bun by a naked warrior in a Turkish bath"

"Avast me hardies! A seafaring adventure as appetizing as fried butt barnacles from a scurvy cuttlefish." Evil-EE twirled his muttonchops.

"Goodbye cookbook memoir. Whatcha got? Rats and cats? Dogs and Dodos?"

"Making my eyes bleed. It's drivel passing as flatulence, parading thru a swine pen and hanging on a Christmas cactus." Evil-EE shredded the Manuscript with his teeth.

"And this, is a Dan Brown wannabee shoveling manure outa Vatican City's barn. I'm not fact-checking all those obscure, truffle-like artifacts he digs like a bloodhound with a snootful of toot." Good-EE sighed.

"Both these manuscripts can fly like little wing-ed pork chops into the depths of swinish Sheol." The manuscripts thudded in the shredder. "Onward! Excelsior! The never-ending search through purple prose. Let us go then, you and I, into one last slurp of paper slushie," Bad-EE declaimed. Another pair of manuscripts met their eyes. Eyes like Nuns scrutinizing girl's skirts.

"In the summer of 1890, Mai-Tai Poon worked up to chief oyster shucker on a whaling boat in the South China Sea. It's poonerific booty," Bad-EE read.

"I'd rather be deaf, dumb and blind on Uranus."

"Yer' right! Pearl Buck, it ain't."

--Dave F.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dave, this is sooooo OTT!! It's swell, I say! Really, so many hidden refs and zany visions and revisions I had to read it twice.

Thanks especially for this:

Let us go then, you and I, into one last slurp of paper slushie," Bad-EE declaimed.X's and O's for that baby!

Meri

Dave F. said...

Meri,
EE posted the assignment some time Thursday morning before I left to go see a stage play. It was Eugene O'Neil's "Moon For The Misbegotten" and when I was sitting there waiting for the play to start, I looked at the stage set which resembled the O'Neil house in New England, I thought of that opening line.
"We come from the farm, reeking and stinking of shanty Irish, a family of drinking fools unable to express any emotion except anger." If you know the play, then you know that line has meaning to the play. It's not a quote.

After that, All of the dialog fell into place and the references began to match O'Neil in the first draft. Prufrock was a natural.
EE's recent topics, references, hints, commentary about cookbooks, pirates, swine flu, came about in the second revision. I kept adding tiny bits and pieces up until I sent it to EE. The final jokes about sex come back to O'Neil and "Moon" where a character wants to rest his head on her loving breasts and sleep in peace for one night.

Whirlochre said...

Love the frenetic workrate of the manic EEs. And I'm with Meri — some great OTT stuff here. And the nuns are a treat.