Sunday, May 17, 2009

Evil Vs. Good 5

EE: "This one's worse than the last. It's like reading a kidney bean sandwich. On stale rye."

GE: "You just picked it up, EE. You didn't even have time to read the first sentence."

EE: "I would have, GE, if the first sentence had actually been a sentence."

GE: "I always read at least three chapters. It's the least I can do after a writer puts her faith in me."

EE: "Interesting. I seldom read past the third sentence. I wonder which of us ends up buying more manuscripts from the slush."

GE: "I've never actually bought one, but--"

EE: "Me neither."

GE: "Still, I wouldn't want the next Grisham to slip through the cracks, like dental floss between Terry Thomas's central incisors."

EE: "If only Grisham had slipped through the cracks."

GE: "Besides EE, after reading a few chapters I can offer the author the benefit of my advice, make them a better writer, even a better person."

EE: "GE, you bring good things to life. The only advice I wanna hand out is to drop the writing and become a veterinarian. That's where the money is. Guess what I paid to have my weredingo's teeth cleaned last week."

GE: "A thousand dollars."

EE: "I wish. I shoulda let 'em rot. He never chews anything anyway. Food flows down his throat like water onto the faces of the CIA's torture victims."

GE: "There's that tingly feeling I had right before I was transported to your office. Looks like I'm about to be sent back."

EE, GE: "Thank God."

--Evil Editor


Dave F. said...

Now that's an interesting portrait of Good Editor as a young man. He's too idealistic to be an evil geezer yet. I liked the Terry Thomas reference, very Hollywood Squares, very retro...
This made me smile.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love those weredingoes!! Really enjoyed this! I was intrigued from the "kidney bean sandwich!? onward.


Whirlochre said...

Bizarrely, this is the first time I've thought of Terry Thomas for years.

Love the way you sneaked him in.