Sunday, May 17, 2009

Evil Vs. Good 5

EE: "This one's worse than the last. It's like reading a kidney bean sandwich. On stale rye."

GE: "You just picked it up, EE. You didn't even have time to read the first sentence."

EE: "I would have, GE, if the first sentence had actually been a sentence."

GE: "I always read at least three chapters. It's the least I can do after a writer puts her faith in me."

EE: "Interesting. I seldom read past the third sentence. I wonder which of us ends up buying more manuscripts from the slush."

GE: "I've never actually bought one, but--"

EE: "Me neither."

GE: "Still, I wouldn't want the next Grisham to slip through the cracks, like dental floss between Terry Thomas's central incisors."

EE: "If only Grisham had slipped through the cracks."

GE: "Besides EE, after reading a few chapters I can offer the author the benefit of my advice, make them a better writer, even a better person."

EE: "GE, you bring good things to life. The only advice I wanna hand out is to drop the writing and become a veterinarian. That's where the money is. Guess what I paid to have my weredingo's teeth cleaned last week."

GE: "A thousand dollars."

EE: "I wish. I shoulda let 'em rot. He never chews anything anyway. Food flows down his throat like water onto the faces of the CIA's torture victims."

GE: "There's that tingly feeling I had right before I was transported to your office. Looks like I'm about to be sent back."

EE, GE: "Thank God."

--Evil Editor

3 comments:

Dave F. said...

Now that's an interesting portrait of Good Editor as a young man. He's too idealistic to be an evil geezer yet. I liked the Terry Thomas reference, very Hollywood Squares, very retro...
This made me smile.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love those weredingoes!! Really enjoyed this! I was intrigued from the "kidney bean sandwich!? onward.

Meri

Whirlochre said...

Bizarrely, this is the first time I've thought of Terry Thomas for years.

Love the way you sneaked him in.