When revolutionaries burst into Evil Editor's bedroom, he could see that they had the worst possible designs on his person.
"Fiend!" cried their leader. "Today, you pay for your atrocities!"
"Atrocities?" asked EE, astonished.
"The myriad murders you committed!" replied the leader. "You have deprived the grieving mother of her child, torn the newlywed from her husband's arms ... you destroyed the population of whole nations!"
"Errr ... you realise you're talking about fictional characters, right? Someone has to cut down those 350,000 word fantasy epics."
"Dastard! We thought to imprison you, but even convicts do not deserve to endure your companionship." The leader gestured with his tulwar, and a firing squad stepped forward. "Make peace with whatever gods you worship, Evil One. You have gazed in wonder at your last Dawn; also, your last Alice, Susan, Jennifer and Wendy. Just as well, since you are unfit for civilized intercourse."
"Wait!" cried EE. "I am, after all, a billionaire ... surely we can come to some arrangement?"
"What are you offering me, to spare your life?" demanded the leader.
"Errr ... something?"
The leader sneered. Damn, thought EE as the firing squad took aim, shoulda been more specific.