Historical Pitch Session 3

Evil Editor scratched his chin. "It seems clear that Holden Caulfield is thinly disguised. By any remarkable chance, were you ever dismissed from a highfalutin prep school, Mr. Salinger?"

"*Elite*, not highfalutin. You'll never hear me use that word--"

"But you just--"

"--ever again," said Salinger.

"I'm just sayin'," said Evil Editor

"I don't think you're right for me at this time," said Salinger. "Can you recommend any other editors that I should avoid?"

"All of them," said Evil Editor.

Salinger whipped out a court order. "This prohibits you from publishing this post on your blog. Since this post is about me, and Catcher in the Rye is about me, this post is derivative of my future novel."

"Blog? What's a blog?" said Evil Editor.

"It's a pathetic form of publication of the future whereby you'll try to eke out a living."

"How would you know about that?" said Evil Editor.

"You used an unreliable narrator. Look upwards in this post."

"I'll read it before I post it in the future and find little narrative therein."

"There's some, and since this future post is about me, it is unreliable. 'Unreliable' includes time references," said Salinger, with a smile.

INJUNCTION: by this writ of the Manhattan Federal District Court of the State of New York you are prohibited from publishing this future and past derivative post of Catcher in the Rye. However, you may publish it in the present for an infinitely short time.

INJUNCTION: by this writ of the REAL Manhattan Federal District Court of the State of New York you are prohibited from publishing this false writ. The previous false writ is fine by us, though.

--WouldBe