Sunday, July 12, 2009

Professor EE 2

I gave EE my best, ‘you have got to be kidding look’. He did not look amused. I rolled my eyes. Still no reaction.

I considered what had gotten me into this mess and concluded - it was pride.

What had I said? ‘How hard could a graduate course in creative writing be? I have had many graduate classes and I did very well.’ Sure, it was being taught by the famously harsh Mr. E.E. himself, but what had I said? ‘It is the tough ‘take no prisoners’ professors that were the best.’ No false bravado there. And when I found out I was the only student, I had even said ‘good for this proves that I have the fearless determination needed to be a successful writer.’

Pride always comes before a fall.

Enough of the pity party. How was I going to get out of this mess? I thought back to my graduate days. I would use my winning smile, flirtatious nature and clever wit to persuade professors to go easy on me then. Of course I was younger and my breast did not sag to my belly button – that probably helped.

It was then the idea came to me. “Have I ever told you about my sister? Gorgeous woman who married quite well and divorced even better. Now I am not going to ask for a passing grade for a date with her, because that would be wrong in so many ways. But if you give me something better to write about, I’ll get you a date. Did I mention she has breast implants and is easy?”

Pride is bad.

But, selling out your sister for something better than a head of lettuce is reasonable - especially if it gets you a passing grade.

--Vivian Whetham


Dave F. said...

I wrote a nice comment and blogger ate it. Now all I will says is great idea pimping out your sister. A big hearty laugh and grin.

Dave F. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Thanks Dave -


Pimping? No, no . . .

As my character Ehlana would be wont to say, “Pimping be such a harsh word to be using. I woudn’t be using it meself. I be preferring matchmaker, lovely. Wouldn’t ye agree that be sounding so much better?”

sylvia said...

Haha, nice way to find a solution.

If you have a sister, though, I just hope she never finds this website!

Robin S. said...

Here's to the fearlessness (and pride?)of a one-student class with a hard-nosed teacher.

Go, girl.

ril said...

Is there anything better than a head of lettuce? Very good!