Professor EE 5

EE dropped the burlap sack on his desk and scowled at the minions. “Three words. W.I.P.!”

A deafening silence enveloped the room for three minutes.

Fragments was the first to raise his hand. “Burlap was first exported from India in the early 19th century. It is a coarse woven fabric made from jute fibers. Jute is a long, soft vegetable-“

“Long? Soft?” Robin interrupted. She winked at EE and continued, “That’s a big sack you have there.”

“I don’t care what’s in that sack. I’m not going near it.” Buffy glared at the sack, then scribbled something in her notebook.

“Is W.I.P. the same as West in Peace?” Anon laughed. He put a bag over his head and moved to the back of the room. “No-one will recognize me now, so I can joke as much as I want.” He didn’t notice the initials ‘ril’ on the back of his t-shirt.

“I paid good money for this. I thought we were going to talk about narration.” Phoenix set up her tape recorder, notebook, and video camera.

“The last person to say something about narration ended up in this sack,” EE yelled. “You wanna be next?”

“I’ll bet there’s a lovely lass in there,” said Whirlochre, falling into a dream-state. “Who sings to her cats and makes lasagna for flowers.”

“Kangaroos have sacks,” McKoala said. “It’s where they keep their young.” She sharpened her claws and made some notes on a wordcount chart.

“What’s in here is neither young nor lovely.” EE reached into the sack and pulled out the head of a blonde minion. The highlights had worn off, and many gray hairs covered the head.

The entire class of minions gagged. There was much retching and throwing-up.

“Anyone else want to make suggestions about narration?”

Nobody in the class answered. But there was a slight movement in the sack. Everybody held their breath while EE did battle with the evil sack.

--Chris Eldin