Evil Shrink 6

Anyway, Doc, I've wallpapered my entire office with rejection slips to--

Brilliant. Nothing breeds success like reminding yourself you're a failure. That's why great chefs put their burnt soufflés on pedestals in their trophy cases. I might try that myself--wallpaper this office with news articles about all the patients who came to me with mild cases of anxiety and went on to become serial killers after I treated them. It'll keep me humble.

But I thought--

Look, you think Johnny Depp puts Freddy's Dead on his résumé? You think Meryl Streep wants to be reminded of The Bridges of Madison County?

I guess that makes sen--

You wanna do something with your rejection slips, make a papier maché sculpture of a "thumbs down." Title it "Rejection" and put it up for bids in the Brenda Novak Juvenile Diabetes Auction. Probably bring in six or eight hundred bucks.

That's not a bad--

I was joking, idiot. With your artistic skills it would probably look more like a flaccid penis than a thumb. Come to think of it, "Rejection" would still be a good title. Probably bring in six or eight thousand.

Really?

NO! Listen, there are 70,000 books published in this country every year and most don't sell 300 copies. You get more readers than that submitting a writing exercise to Evil Editor.

But my book--

Time's up, get out. There are people with real problems waiting.

--Evil Editor