Sunday, August 30, 2009

Lie to Me 8

“So, how do you *really* decide what to publish?”

He looked at the book in my hand and blanched—but his lips remained shut. I slowly opened the book to page one and brought it close to his face, so close I could see his eyes instinctively following the words across the page. It only took three pages of reading before he broke and started babbling. I scribbled it down in my notebook as he spoke.

“StopstopstopI’lltellyoueverything! You see, years ago an agent—I think she was Miss Snark—rigged it up so every thousandth query would get a partial, and then whoever sent the partial on the right weight of paper—”

He was lying. I reached for the second Twilight book and slowly opened it. He spilled everything.

And when he was done, he sat there, trembling. “What are you going to with what I said?”

I smiled a quirky, satisfied grin. “Publish it.”


I snorted. “No. Well….”

His eyes gleamed craftily. “You’ll need an editor.”

I gulped. “I’ve got a couple hundred dollars; I can print… ten books. My mom’ll love it.”

“Mm-hmm. Send me a partial.”



Rick Daley said...

Tortured by Twilight, funny!

Dave F. said...

Like asking Jack the Ripper to help with gynecological exams...

WouldBe said...

Like asking Dave F. for an analogy. :)

_*Rachel*_ said...

This isn't my best work, but I'd swear that counts as torture.