Sunday, August 23, 2009

Zack Martinez Case 2

When a Magic Kingdom mascot turns up dead, homicide detective Zack Martinez knows two things: a cutlass through the heart isn't child's play, and his new blue pants, orange shirt, black vest and yellow hat look goofy.

Still there was no better way to infiltrate the secret world of theme park mascots than to dress like one, and Goofy was the only mascot Zack's height. He soon realized there were but two characters who would want Pluto dead: the duck, who suspected the dog of having an affair with Daisy, and the mouse, who had to clean up after the dog, who had become incontinent in his old age (70, but 490 in people years).

Zack called the two suspects together and started grilling them: "The cutlass had no fingerprints on it, which means the murderer wore gloves; I see you're wearing gloves, mouse."

"I always wear gloves, idiot."

"Yes, but why? Mice don't have hands."

"Neither do ducks," the mouse said.

"The duck's not wearing gloves."

"Look, dimwit, I'm a mascot, not a real mou--"

"What about you, duck?" Zack said. "I'm guessing feathers don't make fingerprints."

"They make featherprints."

"Aha! Then why didn't we find any featherprints on the cutlass?"

"Because I didn't kill the dog?"

"Hmm. Makes sense. Okay, mouse, off with the gloves. Let's get to the bottom of this."

The mouse removed his white gloves, revealing . . . human hands!

"So!" the duck yelled. "Mice do have hands. Guess you've found your killer, detective."

"You idiot!" the mouse said. "This is just a cos--"

"Take him away boys," Zack ordered.

Opening: Caitlin.....Continuation: Evil Editor


Dave F. said...

Both opening and continuation reminded me of a drunk Minnie and Goofy years ago when I took my nephews and nieces to Disney. It was a nightmare. Minnie and Goofy were rolling around the floor drunk as skunks, making out with each other in front of the guests. Honest, true story.

Khazar-khum said...