Why you don't get published.
Unchosen captions:You thought I pulled your contract out of something else, didn't you?--PacatrueSee? I do NOT pull them out of my ass! --writtenwyrddTa da! And now, my partner, JG, will pull a complete novel out of his arse.-anon.At least I didn't pull it out of my ass like most authors do. --MatthewAh, yes. This is much easier than pulling the contract out of my ass. --Suzan HardenOur first lesson in Query Writing 101 is this: You pull the query out of a HAT, people.--writtenwyrddThis way, I carry my shredder everywhere I go.--ww"And we say the magic words... hmm... well, this is embarrassing. The rabbit has just informed me that I'm not right for his list."-- r. watsonFor my next trick, watch where I hide this manuscript. --James KlousiaYou see? Producing an award-winning manuscript is just that easy!--ClarkkersHey Rocky, watch me pull a form rejection out of my hat!--?And just for you, I pull a contract out of a hat! ha ha, just kidding; it's Grampa Evil's peanut butter and corned beef punch recipe. Want a copy?--Mother (Re)producesIt is the perfect query, for now my hat shall fit exactly. --anon.As effective as a shredder, and no trash to take out! --anon.Voila! The mythical "Perfect Query"! --anon.
Nice on, r.watson :).
Amazing how many people thought queries came out of other places.
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