Sunday, September 20, 2009

PirateSpeak Sermon 1

“Gar, I be in charge of this voyage now, and ye be bowing ye heads now as a token of respect for our good friend and matey who be taken now by the sawbones, until he return to reclaim his place amongst the noble and fine, such as you are.

“So what have ye then? What manner of swabs be ye that come to hear the words which will spare ye from the tempest to come? Be ye the salt of the sea, or not? For knowest ye not that should ye lose the salt, ye be no better than a scurvy wretch laying in the bilge. Ye shall be cast adrift into the sea.

“So take ye heed to the swells which the sea rages against all sailors, fair and foul alike. Have the courage to climb the mast, untie the sheets and let your sails billow in the wind. For ahead is the course and behind only water. For the Captain of All does cover our misdeeds as the sea covers its dead. He marks the course, but ye must navigate it at the wheel. Keep your hand steady that ye may steer a true course through the channel, else ye be washed up against the rocks and dashed asunder by the sea’s angry fury. For the sea is not concerned about neither rocks nor shore. The sea is forever, and we must abide it as best we can. When the tide be high we sail fine and true, but when the tide be low, the rocks threaten the hull, and the shoals to stay the voyage.

“There be no assurance save to trust in the Captain. So man the decks and heed the orders. Our course is set.

“And now, it be time to collect the treasure.”



Dave F. said...

That's the strangest pep talk I ever heard and the most comforting passing of the collection basket.

Anonymous said...

this is cute.

Rick Daley said...

Holy shit, that was actually a poignant and moving sermon!