My STOMACH CHURNED as I ENTERED the school. Possibly it had been a mistake to down six bean burritos for BREAKFAST.
Having DECIDED out of the GOODNESS of my heart to conduct Ms. Applewhite's HOMEROOM, so she WOULDN'T miss her physical therapy session (her SHOULDER having SLIPPED out of joint the previous MORNING), I STEPPED into the CLASSROOM to find the students SITTING, WAITING patiently. This was the OPPOSITE of what I'd expected; I thought I'd at least be pelted with spitballs and BOOGERS. It APPEARED I'd been misinformed about the rowdiness of the group.
But no. As I was STARTING to take attendance, the class charged forward as one and strung me up and began using me as a pinata.
Fortunately, their bats were no match for the gaseous emissions brought on by my breakfast, and the room quickly emptied.
"Never again," I GRUMBLED, "will I agree to substitute-teach third graders."
--Evil Editor (New Beginning 310)