Guess the Plot
1. Nico is a half-demon, trying to stop an army from killing his brothers and feeding them to mutants. Savannah is a half-angel hunting down Nico to gain her redemption. Confrontation seems to be their destiny, but then, they never expected to fall in love.
2. As the guilt about jilting Abner in 1967 grows steadily more onerous instead of fading away, Millicent decides there's only one way to redeem herself: marry him. Too bad he seems to be so inconveniently 'married' to some jerk named Stan. What's a girl to do?
3. Teenage rowdies accidentally burn Springfield when their protest against global warming goes awry. Judge Jackson sentences them to rebuild the town and they can barely afford dirt so everything has to be made of adobe. At least no trees will be harmed. As they toil to make the first house Tiffany wonders -- will this take the rest of their lives, or what???
4. Now that Chet has terminal lung cancer, he decides to wheeze on down to find Evelyn in Surrey and apologize for ruining her life in 1992. But their chat over tea is so awkward -- she can't remember Chet at all, and her butler keeps giviing Chet the evil eye.
5. After his drunken party burns the house down, forcing his aging parents to move into the chicken shed, Shelby Jones returns to his college dorm knowing he must do dramatic good deeds to redeem himself. Fortunately he gets the Superman costume at half price. Now all he needs is an evil nemesis.
6. Claude, an insistent atheist (to spite the deities currently traipsing down Main Street), is painting his masterpiece (which has the same title as eight albums, five songs, four novels, three films, and a play). His neighbors are trying to prevent more deities from climbing through the dimensional rift in Claude's backyard.
Dear Evil Editor,
Redemption is an 85,000 word urban fantasy inspired by Frank Miller, George A. Romero and Robert McCammon. [I can't say I care who or what inspired the book, unless you mean you stole your ideas from them.]
Half-angel Savannah Mantas smells the sulfuric stench of wrath when it enters her city, Iron Point. Resurrected by the archangel Michael, she's hunting for redemption and half-demon Nico Montenegro is her prey. He comes from the Fringes, the border between the city and the toxic wasteland beyond.
When they meet, Nico tells her a story, one of genocide and confiscated bodies. Not revenge, but justice is his purpose and his target is the most admired family in the world–Commander Hathaway and his daughter. [That name sounded familiar, but while it turns out it's the name of a famous WWII commander, I think I had Commander McBragg in mind. A few of McBraggs short cartoons are available on YouTube.] [Sudden attack of nostalgia. I'll get back to the query shortly, after I order the complete Commander McBragg collection on DVD.]
Hathaway's soldiers are slaughtering Fringers and secretly feeding them to Revenants, mutants who survived the bio-bombing of 2120. [You've got to be pretty unobservant if someone manages to secretly feed you.] They have a twisted idea they can train these clever creatures like dogs and keep them out of the city long enough to mobilize an evacuation for the wealthy and well-connected. [Lemme see if I've got this straight. You've got some mutants and you want to train them like dogs, which you do by feeding them a slaughtered Fringer whenever they do what they're supposed to do? Wouldn't they be just as happy with a biscuit?]
Savannah knows better. Revenants are what killed her. When they attack, she saves the citizens of Iron Point and gains her redemption, but Michael gives her one final choice. She can ascend to Heaven, or sacrifice paradise and save Nico, the man [correction, half-demon] she loves, from eternal hellfire.
My novels, Stark Knight, Silent Knight, Good Knight, My Biker Bodyguard, Bulletproof Bride, and my YA horror DFF: Dead Friends Forever, the first of six books in the Extreme Hauntings series are published by Echelon Press. School's Out 4Ever, the second in the series, will be released this fall.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response.
Sincerly, [The most important words in a query are the first and last. Spell them correctly. What's between them I couldn't care less about, as I usually don't read it.]
If the goal is to get the Revenants out of the city, wouldn't it be easier to slaughter the Revenants than to slaughter the Fringers and feed them to the Revenants and train the Revenants?
Why is Nico condemned to hellfire? If Michael can--and is willing to--save Nico from eternal hellfire, why doesn't he just do it? If Nico's earned his own redemption, he shouldn't have to spend eternity in hell just because Savannah chooses heaven over a half-demon. Yes, I'm aware she chooses Nico, but that's not the point.
I wouldn't mind a bit more about how Savannah manages to save the whole city from Revenants.