Evil Editor has called an emergency meeting of his board of directors. "No one's doing the writing exercises anymore," he says. "We need a new feature for Sundays."
"Maybe we just need better topics," his second-in-command suggests.
EE glares at her, but finally says, "Okay, we'll go around the table, and I want a clever and potentially hilarious idea from each one of you."
“A pictorial essay section documenting the lives of living cartoonists?” suggests the Picture Editor. EE snorts in derision, raising his eyes to the ceiling. “Photo essays? Over my dead body. Next!”
“How about a cute kitten picture contest?” ventures the Foreign Affairs correspondent. The meeting draws a collective breath of horror. EE shrieks in fury and launches his empty coffee cup across the room at the Foreign Affairs correspondent, who ducks promptly, the cup shattering against the wall behind.
“Useless!”, screams EE, levering his massive bulk from the directors chair and towering over the table. “Not an original thought amongst you! What exactly do I pay you cretins for?”.
The phone rings and the Features Editor springs to retrieve the handset. She listens, her eyes widening in horror, and replaces the handset, slumping back in her chair.
“Well?” exclaims EE. “Speak up, woman.”
“It was the subscription department.” she sobs. “The competition won't help now – the Reader has cancelled his subscription.”
“Readers, who needs 'em?” shouts EE, dribble running down his chins. “We're better off without 'em.”