“I am sorry about that Ehlana but alas my wife has forbidden me to take beautiful women out to dinner.” Tarkin knew immediately he had said the wrong thing and grimaced.
“Wife? Wife. Do ye hear that sound? That be the sound of me broken heart crashing into the Mairi Sea. Right into the very heart of the harbor, in the mud, that will be where ye be finding me heart. The crabs be already eating on it. Why or why have all the good ones be taken? I think ye be the only man that could sway me from me wicked ways!”
“Ehlana . . . I have yet to meet a man up to that task. But trust me, by Machay; I pray every day that I will find him. And, when I do I will introduce the two of you and plan your wedding. In fact, I’ll be giving you away,” Tarkin answered as the two drifted off the subject, abandoning the officer's plan of attack.
“Oh, how sweet ye be praying for me. I do be declaring ye be truly a darling. But mayhaps, I should be finding the right man for meself? But ye can help me! Why not be giving me a list of ye men - just the singles ones mind ye – I ain’t that kind of a lady.”
“Ehlana!” The commander counted to ten and then counted again. “Let me see about that. I’ll give it some thought. Maybe I should beseech the royal family for a prince. This will only be a formality, I am sure they will jump at the chance to see one of the princes or nobles thrown to you, a nymph.”
"A nymph? Me? That be terribly unkind of ye," the long-haired woman replied as she swung her shapely legs back and forth, and smiled mischievously.
--Vivian Whetham
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5 comments:
Are Tarkin, "the officer" and "the commander" the same person? I like the female character here, but i'm a little lost. And the guy(s) gets kind of eclipsed by her amazn personality.
Definitely has its moments, this one - but Ehlana's dialect be getting right up my nose, so it be. (If I remember your plot summary, she dies at the end of the book, right? Just as well; too much more of that dialect, and I'd be ready to climb into the book and strangle her myself.)
Tarkin answered as the two drifted off the subject, abandoning the officer's plan of attack.
That sentence didn't work for me. The rest of it did (for the most part)
And use one of these Let me see about that. I’ll give it some thought. but not both unless you comment on repeating the same thought over for some sort of cover (As Elhana sounds like a man trap).
She is quite exasperating, isn't she. I like that she's colorful and he's so whitebread bland.
The pirate-esque dialogue is presented well here, but I don't know if I could take it for a whole novel.
I think she's interesting - although I'm not clear on whether she already knew about the wife or not. The ye's bug me a bit and I'm particularly uncomfortable with "Do ye" and "mind ye" (I seem to recall that ye should only be used in the unstressed position although I'd be hard-pressed to argue linguistics for pirate-speak) and I agree, I don't think I would get past her speech patterns in the long run.
I also thought for a moment that the commander was a different person and then realised it was still Tarkin. There's nothing to be lost by simply repeating his name again there, in my opinion.
She's certainly intriguing though!
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