The only food in Rex and Iz’s kitchen was a jar of pickles. There should have been a twenty-five-ounce box of Frosted Flakes too, the Frosted Flakes Iz had bought just the day before, but Rex had gotten stoned and had eaten the entire box in one sitting.
Those were my Frosted Flakes! Iz wrote in his journal after confronting Rex. He continued:
I come in at eleven and decide to have a bowl of cereal before going to bed. I usually eat breakfast at night so I can sleep later in the morning. Anyway, I get out the milk and a bowl and spoon and I open the cabinet. And no box!
I say, “Where’s the Frosted Flakes?”
“I ate ’em,” Rex tells me.
“Whattaya mean you ate ’em?” I say.
“I ate ’em.”
“The whole box?!!!!”
“Sorry.”
“That was a big box! A huge box! Twenty-five ounces!”
“I couldn’t stop eating them.”
“How could you eat the whole box? It’s like eating a pound and a half of sugar!”
“I had to eat them all. Toward the end, I wasn’t even enjoying them.”
“Oh, well how satisfying to know that! Why didn’t you eat the whole jar of pickles, instead?!”
“Don’t be ridiculous. They’re sweet gherkins.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
--Evil Editor
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5 comments:
As my kids would say, "Dude, this is random."
:-) But in a good way. I loved the pickles bit at the end! That made me laugh out loud. Too many exclamation marks though, and this is coming from the queen of exclamation marks.
Send Rex to chris's camp with the scary blueberry pie woman!
I'm snacking and this is funny, wickedly funny. I eat frosted shredded wheat for lunch after I wake up late and powdered sugar donuts before I go to sleep. So I can identify.
Them thar corn flakes goin' to be on the move tomorrow. They's goin' to make a big move...
ment.
I've seen a 5-pound bag of Doritos vanish under similar circumstances.
If he was pregnant, he would have eaten the jar alongside the flakes. :)
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