Is it just me, or is the beast right behind me?
Agh, it’s not just me. If I had three wishes right now, my first would be for it to put me down and not hold me three feet off the ground by the scruff of my neck. The second—eek, where is it taking me? There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home….
Well, stairs are awkward, but at least there’s light. We crash through the giant door like it’s cardboard.
Oof. I drag myself off the rag-carpeted floor and scurry into the nearest safe spot, a corner.
Um, maybe not so safe after all. I wedge myself as far into the wall as possible, smearing a nonchalant look on my face.
It growls.
Nonchalant, nonchalant. Have some sangfroid, girl.
Forget the sangfroid; I’m no reptile.
It makes a sound halfway between a roar and a cough.
You know, maybe I can fit a little farther into this corner. Nonchalantly, of course.
It growls once more, this time glancing quickly up at me. I don’t suppose there’s any way to get out of this corner? A secret door triggered by one of these stones would be a very nice Deus ex Machina right now.
“Marry me.”
My eyebrows take flight.
“Please.”
I blink several times. “You’ve… got to be kidding me.”
It looks back up at me, actually meeting my eyes, which happens to be quite unnerving. “I’m not.”
I shake my head and blink again. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“You want reasons other than the fact that you’ve been doing nothing but carrying me and dropping me and chasing me? Or the fact that I bopped you on the head with a poker?”
--_*rachel*_
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6 comments:
I like this- the logistics seem a little rough at the beginning (I had to re-read when she says it's behind her and then her feet are off the ground). I like the rapport ("or the fact that I hit you over the head with a poker?"... ok, make that lack of rapport, but still, fun relationship.)
I wonder if you could drop the "i'm no reptile" line. The rhythm seems better without it (and I hadn't pictured her as a reptile anyway)
Fun, and funny :)
I don't like the eeef and the oof and the deus ex machina but this is laugh out loud funny.
I liked the "by eyebrows took flight"
Ditto on removing the the "I'm no reptile line"
It is funny.
I liked the "my eyebrows took flight"
Ditto on removing "I'm no reptile."
It starts off a little rough at the beginning but it is pretty funny.
I like the eyebrows took flight line as well.
I liked this and would love to know more. I think possibly that a reduction of paragraph breaks in the middle could help the flow but that's really very nitpicky of me.
I love the fact that she can't stop blinking.
I'm a little bit confused as to why he's dropping her once he has her though.
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